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10 times out of 9, you'll find me exaggerating about something. 
If I were a pharmaceutical company, I'd name my next drug "Magnifizac".
Overly wordy and verbose words are ubiquitous.
In retrospect, I may have spent a little too much time huffing rubber cement in elementary school
Just rubbed the blue dot from the National Enquirer (fingers crossed).
I wasn't planning on going for a run today but then those cops showed up!
Don't let your past tell you how to live your present and future!
For some reason when I look at you, the alt+f4 button appear... Somehow I wonder
I think tonight I'm gonna work on my grammar... Gonna see if I can get drunk enough to type in cursive...
that was one of the longest games of hide-and-go-seek ever.
Auto correct is like having a 4 year old play mad-libs with your email.
My neighbor tried...BUT it is impossible to look cool while holding onto a leash attached to a dog who is taking a crap!!
Anyone knows at what time the End of the world will be on Saturday? I feel like I owe it to myself to have one nice meal before it starts
If you're not wearing green right now, shuffle your feet on the carpet and touch the screen to receive your "virtual pinch".
thinking of deleting her friends on facebook that get 300,000 or higher on Bejeweled Blitz.. that way I can finally be #1!
Today I caught myself smiling... I was thinking of you... Don't flatter yourself though, it was because you had a booger in your nose the last time I saw you.
Hide your true colors and let people paint their picture of you.
Looks like OPEC is up to their old tricks again....I had to cash in a few T-Bills and sell off a kidney to fill up my truck this morning!
What's drinking? A mere pause from thinking!
Picking out an appropiate outfit for a Rapture is so frustrating....and I don't even want to get into picking the right accesories... 