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She is called a Bronze digger: when she has low standards. 
the NY Giants should mentor Ray Rice they wont be beating anyone this season
Where is Capt HUG A THUG when you need him aka Rev Al Not to sharpton
Britney Spears is set to make $19 million from her latest gigs in Las Vegas. Officially, this makes her the highest paid mime artist of all time.
I taught my neighbors kid how to trick or treat online, hopefully she puts her mothers credit card back!
The winner of the Scripps National Spelling Bee is awarded an engraved trophy... The loser is given an ingraived plack.
Used to work at a funeral home, and whenever I called out sick I always felt like I was leading them on.
We could learn a lot from our dogs.... If you can't eat it or play with it, pee on it and walk away
The date I had last night didn't go very well. She called me immature. But its okay. She has cooties anyway. :-P
Nothing says ego trip like knowing you're completely unqualified yet still running for president.
Separating the men from the boys, one mood swing at a time.
Sometimes I wonder how vegans can survive off what little they can eat, then I remember they just feed off attention.
Going to: ❒ Paris ❒ New York ❒ London ✔ KITCHEN, I'm hungry
My get up and go attitude got up and left me
I find humor in everyday life by looking for people I can laugh at
Just woke up. Ice cream melted. Not sure where I am. Smells like basement.
Camping. Camping? Listen up Mr. and Mrs.Field and Stream...My idea of roughing it is a Motel 6 with no cable.
Sadly there comes a day in every Father/Son Relationship where your son asserts himself by simply saying "No thank you" when you say "Pull my finger".
Does this status update make me look fat?
Ya Know?!?......The number of ways I could care less...... is astounding! 