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   messageicon The most unrealistic part of The Harry Potter books is that teenage boys have an invisibility cloak but aren’t constantly using it to watch the girls of Hogwarts when they are naked in the showers.
←Rate | 05-30-2020 11:57 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Had the fencing guys out working today putting up a Chain-link fence. Lets see them mosquitoes get in the yard now .
←Rate | 06-24-2020 15:31 Comments (0)  


   messageicon In an effort to be sensitive to the current atmosphere. Wild Cherry has changed the name of their 1970's hit to simply "Play us an upbeat song Cracker".
←Rate | 06-25-2020 22:22 by Grumpy Comments (0)  


   messageicon Nobody: Neighbors: THEYRE ASLEEP LETS SET OFF ALL THE FIREWORKS
←Rate | 06-29-2020 09:54 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Raisins are just grapes pretending not to be past their “sell by” date
←Rate | 06-29-2020 09:55 Comments (0)  


   messageicon 2020 has really changed me, but not completely. For example, I haven’t showered in 3 days, but I still silently judge stinky people
←Rate | 06-29-2020 09:55 Comments (0)  


   messageicon "Name 1 thing you want to try in the bedroom" Her: "Getting a full 8hrs of sleep"
←Rate | 06-30-2020 17:01 Comments (0)  


   messageicon You think 2020 is bad, wait till 2025 when the Murder Ladybugs invade.
←Rate | 07-15-2020 08:11 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Think my cat might be depressed. She just told me she's thinking about getting a cat.
←Rate | 07-17-2020 08:19 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I’m not superstitious but I am a little stitious.
←Rate | 04-22-2018 13:18 by M.Scott Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'm so ugly, when I play Mortal Combat, Scorpion tells me "Stay Over There!".
←Rate | 04-23-2018 01:41 by ClarkKent Comments (3)  


   messageicon does anyone remember when lol meant “laughing out loud” instead of “this is to indicate that this brief text isnt hostile”
←Rate | 04-23-2018 12:34 Comments (0)  


   messageicon If you want me to leave my house I need three days notice.
←Rate | 04-27-2018 00:21 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Alcohol...because people annoy me but I'm also lonely
←Rate | 04-27-2018 00:26 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Personal care products for men: This bottle contains body gel, shampoo, conditioner and moisterizer. For women: This bottle contains treatment for your left knee. For right knee products, check Aisle 7.
←Rate | 04-30-2018 15:17 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Mint julep or tequila? Happy Kentucky de Mayo!!!
←Rate | 05-05-2018 10:09 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Today I made sushi at home for the first time. I subsituted a hotdog for the raw tuna, a bun for the rice, and mustard for the wasabi!
←Rate | 05-13-2018 20:26 by @UncleBSolomon Comments (0)  


   messageicon I decided to bury the hatchet with that neighbor I never got along with. After all, it is the murder weapon.
←Rate | 05-21-2018 07:39 Comments (0)  


   messageicon When I was a kid my parents would say "You'll understand when you're older." Well now I'm older and I still don't understand.
←Rate | 05-25-2018 11:39 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Woke up naked and sweaty and I didn’t even get laid.
←Rate | 07-01-2018 09:54 Comments (0)  



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