Trump Filter: ON | OFF
Search Messages:
I'm not sure when it happened, but my "to do" list has become my "to do tomorrow" list. 
When it comes to fighting let`s just say I have lightning-like reflexes…. I hit the ground fast.
Life puts a continual set of roadblocks in our way. Keep knocking that sh*t down and move forward.
I Just unlocked the 'Five Naps in One Day Achievement' in the game that is my life.
If you're not going to stick to the time you gave me, don't give me a time at all..
The main difference between fiction and reality, is that fiction has to make sense.
It wasn't funny. :( I pooped my pants. Okay, so I exaggerated. But I was startled.
Life should be this simple: do whatever makes you happy until you die.
thinking aren't the 'good things that come to those who wait' just the leftovers from the people that got there first?
if you desire it, I'll aquire it.
hates people that take drugs... Customs for example
as confused as a cow on astro turf
trying to turn a straw inside out
thinking the sun is out might just work on my six pack!!!ithey should be cold enough now
Drink what you will. Drink what you like. If you drinking with me you'll be under the table tonight. OUT DRINKING!
Good thing I never got my zodiac sign tattooed.
First dates in movies always consist of activities that would never work in real life. Oh, paddle boating in a lake... so romantic until the first fight comes 4 seconds in on which person is not pulling their weight.
I can put a coffee maker next to my bed if I want to!
Like all moms, there are days when Mother Nature just wants to feel sexy. Somehow, this leads to hurricanes.
thinks that he has stumbled onto the secret of true happiness, but unfortunately, he hasn't figured out a way to charge people for it. 