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   messageicon If size doesn't matter, how come my ex's vibrator wasn't three inches long and crooked?
←Rate | 11-02-2011 01:39 Comments (0)  


   messageicon All I want for Christmas is for her let me stuff her stocking with my holiday joy.
←Rate | 12-20-2011 12:01 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I bet Martin Luther King hit the snooze button like 40 times to try & get back to his awesome dream.
←Rate | 02-16-2012 18:24 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Its a disaster when your country has an obesity epidemic and a skinny jeans fad.
←Rate | 06-19-2012 23:26 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I like to listen to mexican radio but I dont know what they are singing or saying so I just pretend they are singing about how awesome I am.
←Rate | 07-11-2012 12:11 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I hate when I'm sitting on bleachers and Half my nutsack falls asleep!WTF
←Rate | 12-27-2011 15:25 by Goodeolboy Comments (0)  


   messageicon Based on the musicians who thanked him at the Grammys, I gotta say: I'm not crazy for God's taste in music.
←Rate | 09-27-2014 15:53 by snotty Comments (0)  


   messageicon I wonder what my dogs named me?
←Rate | 11-18-2014 18:26 by BigSarge Comments (0)  


   messageicon (•)(•)(•) Total Recall
←Rate | 01-30-2015 06:24 Comments (0)  


   messageicon What's next TLC...a little person that's a 600 pound tattooed Gypsy Polygamist woman wearing the wrong clothes with a family of 63 kids risking it all to return to the Amish hording ex husband and 6 ex wives to eat cakes like a boss and buy houses naked
←Rate | 02-03-2015 22:02 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Found a grey pubic hair today. I didn’t freak out too much but the others in the elevator looked terrified.
←Rate | 04-18-2015 09:29 by Nipper Comments (0)  


   messageicon How come the official that handles the ball on every single play didn't notice they were under inflated??
←Rate | 05-11-2015 20:35 Comments (0)  


   messageicon my views on lesbian relationships? Preferably in HD.
←Rate | 07-01-2015 23:13 Comments (0)  


   messageicon dear State Farm, the only thing worse than your commercials is your insurance...
←Rate | 09-23-2012 17:45 Comments (0)  


   messageicon "What do we want?" "Hearing aids." "When do we want them?" "Hearing aids."
←Rate | 06-10-2013 17:08 by StonerDudee Comments (0)  


   messageicon Seriously B EGO. You need to stop this habit of liking the smell of your own sh*t, I mean your own p 0sts.
←Rate | 06-22-2013 03:44 Comments (0)  


   messageicon This year for Halloween I'm handing out Carmel covered onions. Halloween is fun.
←Rate | 10-25-2012 22:35 Comments (0)  


   messageicon They need to make a commercial for the lottery that's all about a guy using the money for revenge.
←Rate | 10-26-2012 16:59 by hihuggiehi Comments (0)  


   messageicon When buying new sunglasses, always ask yourself, “Do these make me look like a Kardashian or a pedophile?”
←Rate | 11-09-2012 14:30 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Write me your opinions on this extra soft paper and leave it next to my toilet.
←Rate | 11-15-2012 18:32 by Aaron Comments (0)  



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