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Okay, 45-year-old divorced women on Facebook who are "LUV'N' LIFE!" Calm down. We get it. 
Filling out a job application. Under "Military Experience" I put that I once went commando for 4 days in a row.
If v-a-g-i-n-a-s weren't meant to be kissed, they wouldn't have lips.
So apparently North Korea is threatening war on the US over a Seth Rogen film in which Kim Jong-un is assassinated. Maybe someone should tell Kim Jong-Un that Seth Rogen is Canadian...
Behind every great woman there is a man who loves doggystyle.
would have brought sexy back but I lost the receipt
according to the color of my pee, I had a great night last night!
A "Duck Dynasty" musical is in the works. It's predicted to be very popular with fans of "Duck Dynasty" who also love musical theater. In other words, nobody. Actors who audition should be proficient in singing, dancing, and hiding their sexual orientatio
"Girls night out" is the best way to say "No one wants to date me."
THEY'RE going THERE with THEIR friends..... Seriously it's not rocket science people!
[Average Salaries] U.S. Soldier: $54,000....U.S. Congressman: $174,000 (Not counting bonuses)....What's wrong with this picture?
I wonder if that Casey Anthony chic is single?.... She's gotta be a Maniac in the bedroom!!.
I went to an italian restaurant for lunch, but there was a fat girl at the door and I couldn't get PASTA
Thinking about moving to New York and setting up a mobile bacon sandwich stand about a couple of blocks from Ground Zero.
I'm dreaming of a 90 degree Christmas
The girl on the stripper pole got mad because I gave her a monopoly dollar, well fake boobs, fake hair, fake nails gets fake dollars!
So if TEBOWING is dropping to 1 knee, then I assume dropping to 2 knees would be considered SAMMING?
Fun idea of the day: Don't have kids? Hire a babysitter anyway, say kid is asleep upstairs and not to be woken. On your return ask where your child is.....
not addicted to cocaine, he just likes the way it smells.
Remember, a doggie isn't just for Christmas... it's a f-kin good position all year round! 