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Marshall The Great Funny Status Messages
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Page: 24 of 134
KY should just go ahead and make lip gloss already.
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07-18-2010 18:22 by
Marshall the Great
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I don't argue with people who I can remove from my life by pressing a button.
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04-03-2013 15:05 by
Marshall the Great
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My friends think I never listen to their opinions... like I give a sh*t what they think.
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03-31-2012 15:21 by
Marshall the Great
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You can tell the quality of a person by how they treat people they don't need.
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10-13-2010 08:30 by
Marshall the Great
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You've never been truly drunk until you've had to use a barstool as a walker to get home.
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05-26-2013 12:28 by
Marshall the Great
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So this smoke detector is trying to tell me the battery is so dangerously low that it can only beep 4,000 times?
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06-27-2013 15:34 by
Marshall the Great
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If somebody's presence does not add value to your life... then their absence should make no difference!
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04-19-2011 22:12 by
Marshall the Great
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I'm beginning to realize that some people must actually enjoy being miserable.
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03-23-2011 16:45 by
Marshall the Great
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If you don't cuss when you drive you aren't paying enough attention to the road.
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10-06-2011 10:18 by
Marshall the Great
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I'm wondering why life keeps teaching me lessons I have no desire to learn...
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06-26-2010 16:56 by
Marshall the Great
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The Seven Dwarfs of Facebook: Drunky, Stoney, Skanky, B!tchy, Lonely, Creepy, Stalky
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04-19-2012 20:05 by
Marshall the Great
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Wow the liquor store clerk just said he's worried about me. I think it's time for a change. To a less judgmental liquor store.
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11-11-2011 08:07 by
Marshall the Great
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I need a way to change my relationship status to "Out of Order" or "Temporarily Out of Service."
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06-28-2010 14:39 by
Marshall the Great
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If you took a Facebook IQ Test and it determined you're a Genius, the fact that you participated in a Facebook test negates the results.
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06-29-2010 09:45 by
Marshall the Great
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I'm the author of my life.Unfortunately I'm writing in pen so I can't erase my mistakes
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05-26-2010 19:36 by
Marshall the Great
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Please don't ever change! I always want to be better than you.
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06-04-2010 14:30 by
Marshall the Great
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I think this day just took a hard right onto WTF blvd...
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06-12-2010 10:27 by
Marshall the Great
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I try to live every day as though it were my last, and who wants to do laundry on the last day they're alive?
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06-15-2010 20:16 by
Marshall the Great
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Irony is people complaining about Facebook's privacy settings when every other update is about their weekly visit to their gynecologist.
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06-17-2010 19:51 by
Marshall the Great
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Within every clean house is a room with a closed door containing a large pile of miscellaneous crap that someone just tossed in there.
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12-14-2010 21:33 by
Marshall the Great
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