LEMONPILLOW Funny Status Messages

   Copywight 2010 Elmer Fudd. All wights wesewved.

   it fair to say that there'd be less litter in the world if blind people were given pointed sticks?

   Womens football. If it isn't raining I'm just not interested.

   Ex-president Bush blamed BP for the disaster off the coast of Louisiana. Later he recanted saying "He thought BP stood for Black President."

   I've been thinking... If poison goes out of date, does it become more or less deadly?

   As long as there are tests,there will always be public prayers in schools.

   I Wish 2010 Brings You 12 Months of Happiness,52 Weeks of Fun,365 Days of Success,8760 Hours of Good Health, 52600 Minutes of Good Luck and 3153600 Seconds of Joy!

   Sometimes "dressing for the job you want" is referred to as "impersonating an officer".

   I'm sorry,Mr. Wasp,but I had to kill you. You're too stupid to see my kitchen window and kept smacking into it. And too stupid to see me trying to help you. Stupidity isn't acceptable in my household. You had to go.

   ..it's so cold that Britney Spears made sure she was wearing underwear before she went out.

   n't it annoying when you accidentally drop something like a bread crumb into your keyboard and you have to get ighhghghghghhghghbhbhghgbhbhbggggggggggggh

   I don't know about you, but I'm sick of seeing disabled people being pushed around...

   ..sold her tv and bought a dvd player. Bargain! Oh..wait..

   Yo mamma so fat that when she lays on the beach, Green Peace try to push her back into the water.

   Some call it stalking. I call it love.

   What is it with Facebook games like Mafia and Farmville. I guess people need to balance their murder and violence with beets and little lost sheep.

   Lying about my age is easier now that I sometimes forget what it is.

   An optimist laughs to forget, a pessimist forgets to laugh.

   A foolish man tells a woman to stop talking. A wise man tells her that her mouth is extremely beautiful when her lips are closed.

   forgot to buy candy for the kids this Halloween but will offer them a bite of her sandwich.