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   messageicon Dear Heart {♥} , Please stop getting involved in everything. Your job is to pump blood, that's it...
←Rate | 06-04-2011 11:43 by himashis Comments (0)  


   messageicon You ever notice how most Ford vehicle names are more fun when you put "anal" in front of them? Probe, Explorer, Excursion, Endeavor, Ranger, Focus...
←Rate | 06-27-2011 16:11 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon If you ever want to know what you look like to the world, don't look in a mirror, have a child draw you.
←Rate | 04-02-2011 18:59 Comments (0)  


   messageicon organizing a flash mob at my place, Thursday 3pm. Bring lawnmowers.
←Rate | 08-17-2011 18:13 by Keyboard Smasher 5000 Comments (0)  


   messageicon A quiet man, is a thinking man. A quiet woman, is usually mad.
←Rate | 04-12-2011 23:52 by BEGO Comments (0)  


   messageicon Like a good neighbor, stay over there
←Rate | 09-11-2011 22:29 by Ed Status Comments (0)  


   messageicon The other day someone was telling me that they make ice cubes out of left over wine. I was confused. What's left over wine?
←Rate | 02-15-2011 18:42 Comments (0)  


   messageicon If you see a animal stuck in a trap, free them. If you see a child crying, comfort them. If you see the Jersey Shore cast crossing the street, HIT THE GAS!
←Rate | 02-04-2010 10:19 by JeremyCakes Comments (0)  


   messageicon I dont believe in beating my kids, so I make them wear a Justin Bieber shirt & crocs to school so the other kids will do it for me.
←Rate | 03-22-2012 13:47 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon I would pay good money to see the mayhem guy from Allstate hook up with Flo from Progressive.
←Rate | 01-15-2012 10:29 by Aaron Comments (0)  


   messageicon wondering if the US Government gets the irony of trying to pass laws that limits their own citizens access on the internet whilst at the same time criticizing the governments of China & Iran for doing the same thing.
←Rate | 01-20-2012 11:42 Comments (0)  


   messageicon How am I supposed to be inpressed by a computer winning at Jeopardy when Google usually knows what I'm looking for after 2 letters?
←Rate | 02-22-2011 11:02 by MyClueIs Comments (1)  


   messageicon My therapist says I have an obsession with revenge. We'll see about that..
←Rate | 05-01-2011 17:12 by Rosaline Comments (1)  


   messageicon God. I hate waiting in lines. I wish this woman would hurry up and pick a suspect.
←Rate | 02-14-2010 06:16 by lemonpillow Comments (0)  


   messageicon I tried to log in on my iPad. Turns out it was an Etch-a-Sketch and I don't own an iPad.  Also, I'm out of vodka.
←Rate | 01-26-2012 20:36 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I thought about going out tonight but am too lazy to take a shower and clean up. Times like this, make me wish Walmart had a bar.
←Rate | 01-07-2012 10:55 by Nunthewizr Comments (0)  


   messageicon Bad decisions make good stories
←Rate | 08-16-2009 20:31 Comments (0)  


   messageicon "Hi, Welcome to Abercrombie. Our sizes are; Small, X Small, Anorexic, Bulemic, and Malnourished."
←Rate | 08-17-2010 21:22 Comments (1)  


   messageicon To this day, the boy that used to bully me at school still takes my lunch money. On the plus side, he makes great subway sandwiches.
←Rate | 12-17-2012 23:02 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon Just been watching Ladies Beach volleyball and there's already been a wrist injury...but I should be ok by friday;)
←Rate | 06-15-2013 05:13 by Arda Comments (0)  



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