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has the feeling she needs to do the housework, gonna sit down with a coffee and wait for the feeling to pass 
The liver is evil. It must be punished
If the #2 pencil is the most popular, why is it still #2?
I'm not tense, just terribly, terribly alert.
an organ donor (see inside for details)...
The only time I don't 'get it' in a good way is at work.
Can you believe that people are actually paying Atheists $150 to take care of their pets after the Rapture???!!! I'm just mad because I paid more than that for them to harvest my crops on Farmville.... :(
I am either going to hell or the rapture was a hoax!!
The coffee maker is moving so slow, it's upsetting the space-time continuum.
All good things must come to an end, I just want to know when they start!
I really don't have time to date. My iTunes library is very high maintenance
A flash mob sounds alot more fun then it actually is.
"Suppose you were an idiot. And suppose you were a member of Congress. But I repeat myself."
When you start complaining that all your dreams have not come true, you have to realize that also means that dream about you forgetting your pants at home
If anyone tells you they've lost their voice, they're lying.
Our housing estate has a small, resident ghost that helps out during hard times. It's nice to have a little community spirit.
There is Waaay to much stuff moving around on Facebook! My ADD is definately getting the best of me now!
All I pray is that when I die the death certificate does not contain the phrases "straining at stool" or "unusual mummification".
My optic nerve crossed with my a$$hole, and gave me a sh*tty outlook on life.
" IDK Google it " When your kid asks you a question you know nothing about. 