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Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump
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If you have enough leather watches, you can buckle them all together and make a belt, but that would be a waist of time.
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08-22-2023 21:12
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Take your age and add 5 years to it. That's how old you'll be in 5 years.
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08-22-2023 18:22
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Doctors and scientists agree on the benefits of an afternoon nap, yet still my boss thinks he knows better. Ridiculous.
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08-21-2023 09:23 by
RobbieG
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I've reached the age where I appreciate a nice handrail.
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08-21-2023 04:02
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The older you get the happier you are for minor things. I just wanted to brag that I typed "license" on my first try and didn't get tagged by spell check.
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08-20-2023 15:35
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What's the difference between Iron Man and Iron woman? One's a super hero and the other is a simple command.
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08-19-2023 06:27 by
GaryKoenig
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Wrinkled Was Not One of the Things I Wanted to Be When I Grew up.
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08-18-2023 10:09 by
RobbieG
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'We've all bet on a fart and lost' is the best example of the Human condition I ever heard
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08-17-2023 20:17 by
Darkharbinger
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To whomever hacked my phone and saw the naked pictures of me... Sorry, but That's what you get.
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08-17-2023 15:43
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If adult diapers are called Depends, then baby diapers should be called Definitely.
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08-17-2023 15:39
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She has a body like baywatch but a face like crime watch.
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08-17-2023 14:29
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Help control the pet population, eat at a Chinese restaurant this weekend.
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08-17-2023 14:29
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okes about dyslexia are as easy as A, C, B.
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08-17-2023 14:19
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One of my daughter's just asked, "What runs in our family?" The only thing I could think of was "mental illness".
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08-17-2023 14:19
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Got a call from a Telemarketer, he said he couldn't understand me. I TOLD HIM PRESS 1 FOR ENGLISH AND HUNG UP
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08-17-2023 11:25
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Word of the Day: Philantropath (noun). A psychopath masquerading as a philanthropist. (See: Bill Gates).
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08-17-2023 09:43
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Did anyone ever consider Maybe the Day doesn't like being Seized ?
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08-17-2023 08:28
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Marriage tip: When your wife says you're only coming in to get one thing, always grab a cart, because she's lying. Follow me for more marriage advice.
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08-16-2023 17:09 by
GaryKoenig
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I’m going to start telling women that I’m available for a limited time only in hopes that their shopping instinct kicks in.
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08-16-2023 09:00 by
RobbieG
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Do you think that Chinese tourists that come here are disappointed when they buy a souvenier and then see where it was made?
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08-16-2023 08:54
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