Darkharbinger Funny Status Messages

   The Log Cabin Syrup logo is offensive to trees

   Life is like a helicopter. I don't know how to fly a helicopter.

   price doesn't always equal quality. A 50 dollar hooker works harder than 250 dollar hooker.

   'We've all bet on a fart and lost' is the best example of the Human condition I ever heard

   How come when someone is missing the media makes them out to be a saint? Why not just say 'yeah their a jerk but lets find them anyway?'

   The Wicked Witch of the West said it best: What a world, what a world

   You know, while we’re at it, don’t look directly at me today either.

   I may not know much, but I know mayo doesn't go on a taco.

   Every drop of water on earth has been through multiple kidneys at this point.

   I haven’t been this excited about a new year since last year.

   never forget, you are a part of the universe that became sentient for a while and decided to post pictures of cats on the internet

   President Thomas Jefferson once said, never believe anything you read on the internet.

   Today is 2/366. This is a leap year, which means the earth gave you an extra day to make things how you want.

   Saving daylight? Who am I, Superman?

   Knowledge is knowing that hot peppers are a fruit; wisdom is putting them in a fruit salad.

   Them: What kind of person are you? Me: I'm a place or thing, thank you.

   I asked to 2024's manager today, it was 2021

   No New Year, No Groundhog, No Valintine, and now no New President. Holidays suck anymore.