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Any tree can be a Christmas tree if you yell at your family around it.
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12-15-2018 13:51 by
Zinc
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Everthing will be ok in the end. If it's not ok, then it's not the end
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01-12-2015 13:18 by
Zinc
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With fewer toothpaste choices on the market now, maybe those 5 dentists can finally agree.
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04-27-2012 05:11 by
Zinc
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I don't make annoying passive aggressive statuses, unlike some people I know.
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07-02-2013 17:37 by
Zinc
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I'm so broke identity thieves sent a fruit basket with a note. "Sorry about the ID theft. Please tell your creditors to stop calling us."
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03-25-2017 01:44 by
Zinc
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can you spare just $2? Ranji is a 9 yr old boy living in Namibia. He has 1 leg, 1 arm, and 1 eye. Each day he rides 7 miles to school with a bike w/ bent wheels and no brakes. If you just send $2, we will send you the video it's freaking hilarious.
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04-05-2012 00:13 by
Zinc
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They say revenge is a dish best served cold. But they also say revenge is sweet. I think they are trying to say revenge is ice cream.
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03-05-2012 23:26 by
Zinc
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I was in a gang once — we used to carry pocket knives & wear all green with blood-red bandanas around our neck. Wait, that was Boy Scouts.
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09-23-2015 22:53 by
Zinc
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Due to inflation, a picture is now only worth 332 words.
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03-16-2012 03:54 by
Zinc
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Not sure why Amtraks slogan is not "Travel with your drugs, we won't check""
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10-01-2015 21:16 by
Zinc
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Turns out if you fake your death every monday work catches on.
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03-17-2017 01:56 by
Zinc
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went to a karaoke bar that had no 70's songs. At first I was afraid, I was petrified.
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12-01-2011 00:38 by
Zinc
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What idiot decided to call them marijuana dispensaries and not grass stations?
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02-24-2015 18:13 by
Zinc
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Why be difficult, when with a bit of effort, you can be totally impossible!
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02-24-2015 18:16 by
Zinc
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Some people lack the ability to laugh at themselves. That's where I come in.
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05-28-2013 01:15 by
Zinc
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When I was a boy I was told that anybody could become President; I'm beginning to believe it. - Clarence Darrow
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10-10-2012 16:30 by
Zinc
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Facebook asks me what I'm thinking. Twitter asks me what I'm doing. 4square asks me where I am. Conclusion: the Internet is my girlfriend.
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03-16-2012 03:50 by
Zinc
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the last thing I want to do is hurt you. But it's still technically on the list.
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12-01-2011 00:45 by
Zinc
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Lacrosse is my favorite sport that combines looking like you're trying to catch a butterfly with having no friends @JhonRules
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11-10-2015 00:54 by
Zinc
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hates double standards. If a chick bangs a bunch of dudes, she's a slut. If a guy does it, he's a homosexual.
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12-01-2011 00:49 by
Zinc
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