ritchie_bonk Funny Status Messages

   chasing fat people with a salad.

   told today that my problem is that I just want my cake and eat it..... Yes. Yes I do. Afterall what good is a god damn cake you can't eat.

   beatby my computer at chess...but it was no match for me at kick boxing

   used to be a schizophrenic but now we're ok.

   thinks experience is what you get whenever . . . you don't get what you want

   a secret agent...oh crap.

   would kill for a Nobel Peace Prize.

   on safari lookin at lions. I was on firefox lookin at porn.

   thinks. Of all the places to get changed in secret, why the funk would superman choose a small box in the middle of a built up city which to be fair is mainly made up of windows.

   livin the chuffin dream baby. Just turned up to work with no trousers on.

   Sometimes I wake up grumpy… other times I do the easier thing and let her sleep.

   annoyed by old people and think they should all be stangled at birth.

   thinks, sex is like any other performance, i.e a stage performance. So as that you dont blow it early on in the show, you must have a rehersal before HAND so as not to leave your audience (partner) disapointed.

   stuck in an elevator with steve tyler from airosmith and is quite scared.

   re-doing facebook quiz's, so that he can fudge the results into saying the person he would rather be like.

   strained his left testicle at the gym, and is now sitting on an angle to ease the pain.

   just ripped his arse hole open with a record breaking turd..

   man on toilet, is high on pot.

   thinks that if you insist on being that fat, atleast tuck you belly in.

   flicked his dog's balls while he wasn't looking..