anonymous Funny Status Messages

   havin' a 3some tonight... still have room for 2 more.

   just bought a new GPS unit for my car, and it came without directions.

   in a relationship with Jack Daniel's.

   When I get real bored, I like to drive downtown and get a great parking spot, then sit in my car and count how many people ask me if I'm leaving.

   THOUGHT about getting outta bed, still thinking, still thinking

   works hard because millions on welfare depend on me!

   36,000 die every year just from regular flu alone in the US,and we are worried about swine flu with just 150 cases all around the world???They are just diverting your attention from the economy that they are f-ing up every day!!!

   hasn't met Mr Right yet. But she has met Mr Rude, Mr Cocky and Mr Cheap.

   needs to sit down in the Thinking Chair and Think...Think...THIIIINNNKK!!!

   took the "How good are you at Making love" quiz and it asked me for my phone number

   knows he was unwanted as a child when he found his bath toys were a radio and a toaster!

   he often wanted to drown my troubles, but I can't get my wife to go swimming.

   "just wants less to do, more time to do it, and higher pay for not getting it done. "

   receives sound advice from girlfriends. 99% sound, 1% advice.

   not allowed to use metaphors anymore. It's like an applesauce sandwich trying to teabag a Yeti. Know what I mean?

   here..now what are your other two wishes????

   trying to stop being indecisive, but is not sure about it...

   saving a lot on his child support by switching to condoms.

   out making some changes in hisher life...leave a message and I'll get back yo you. if I don't return your message your one of the changes!

   has learned a lot from dogs: obedience, loyalty, and the importance of turning around three times before lying down (I've really only applied the last to my life, however)