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The FRED Funny Status Messages
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I used to have no life. Now I have a laptop and Facebook!
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03-08-2010 20:21 by
The FRED
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What's the difference between Penn State and the State Penn??? Sandusky will be catching not pitching!
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11-16-2011 01:17 by
The FRED
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Sometimes you have to smile... Pretend everything's okay. Hold back the tears, And just walk away.
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02-16-2010 19:50 by
The FRED
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why does ben rothlisberger cry after sex? ... because the pepper spray hurts so much.
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04-25-2010 02:40 by
The FRED
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When a Blind dude & his dog go for a joyride, who dirves?
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03-23-2010 19:51 by
The FRED
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Fat bottomed girls, You make the rockin' world go round.
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06-15-2010 01:22 by
The FRED
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sick and is therefore listening to The Cure.
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04-15-2010 23:51 by
The FRED
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My safe word is blueberry pancakes. Whoops! this isn't MySpace.
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04-19-2010 23:43 by
The FRED
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going bar hoping with Tiger Woods & Ben Roethlisberger.
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03-05-2010 19:07 by
The FRED
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Don't be sad, don't be blue, frankenstein was ugly too!
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03-08-2010 20:10 by
The FRED
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might be addicted to eBay considering he just spent 6 hours trying to burn the face of Jesus into his toast.
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03-08-2010 20:06 by
The FRED
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Hell is Where: the Police are German, the Chefs are British, the Mechanics are French, the Lovers are Swiss and it's all organized by the Italians.
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03-28-2010 23:18 by
The FRED
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its National Coming Out Day. What ever you do don't take that call from Grandma. Trust Me on this.
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10-11-2011 19:14 by
the FRED
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When I am king, you will be first against the wall, With your opinion which is of no consequence at all.
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04-17-2010 01:51 by
The FRED
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Today is National Facebook Unfriend Day. I hope you make it to tomorrow as my friend. I just want you to know I'm pulling for you.
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11-17-2010 00:29 by
The FRED
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Sending my regards to Seal. Hopefully, this won't scar him for life.
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01-21-2012 19:09 by
The Fred
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Heaven is Where: the Police are British, the Chefs are Italian, the Mechanics are German, the Lovers are French and it's all organized by the Swiss.
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03-28-2010 23:18 by
The FRED
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Tomorrow, I'm gonna write a blog post about procrastination.
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03-24-2010 10:18 by
The FRED
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I'm watching extreme makeover: home edition in an attempt to invoke an emotion response from my cold and numb soul.
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11-07-2010 20:44 by
The FRED
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My family was too poor to buy hooked on fonics.
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09-23-2011 03:16 by
The FRED
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