Samir Momin Funny Status Messages

   if you tickle my feet I am not responsible for what happens to your face....

   YOU LOOK LIKE I NEED ANOTHER DRINK....

   Gas for trip to Walmart: $4.75 Miley Cyrus movie: $19.95 Box of tissue: $2.95 Hand Lotion: $3.78 The look of disgust on the cashiers face:

   ever noticed on sponge bob that krusty crab is in bikini bottom...?

   it takes 42 muscles to frown, But it only takes 4 muscles to extend ur arm out and smack'em in the head...

   I was good at math before they decided to mix the alphabet in it...

   When you're a fast texter, two minutes is a long time to wait for a reply....

   I would take a bullet for u.. Not the head but like in the leg or something....

   I understand you got your swag on, but could you walk a lil faster...?

   I Speak Fluent Sarcasm....

   Why do leprechauns laugh when they run...? cuz the grass tickles their nuts..

   I was blown away when I realised the word ' OK ' is a side ways person,...

   Right now, my bracket is like a drunken one-night stand: sloppy but still doable....

   Dear Santa: How much for your list with all the naughty girls on it?

   if you're just gonna quit going to the gym in a couple weeks then please don't pack the gyms now. thanks!

   Have you ever noticed that Gatorade doesn't work on guys who suck?

   stayed up all night playing poker with tarot cards. I got a full house but two people died...

   The longest sentence known to man: "I do."

   You've been dating for 2 days - you don't love each other.... Shutup!

   I see you liked my status... I accept your invitation for sex.