Just found a $5 bill in some old pants from middle school...Do you know how many rectangle pizzas with the cube pepperoni I could have bought with that?? Or better yet some mutha-f^ckin Chicken Rings...
Men lie about how many women they have been with because they CAN'T remember the exact number...Women lie about how many men they have been with because they CAN remember the exact number....
it crazy that when I go to stores and have to sign my name for stuff I sign "Daffy Duck"...I mean I guess its not a problem unless Daffy Duck steals my identity right??
Kinda sad that future generations wont get the joy of watching scrabbled porn..."Is that a boobie or an elbow??...Hmm I dont know but it's gonna have too do"...
"When we die, our bodies become the grass, and the antelope eat the grass. And so we are all connnected in the great Circle of Life..." You know now that I'm older this circle of life doesn't really seem that balanced... Especially if your the antelope
Dont let the ladies fool you cuz deep down they know they need us men...If not for the orgygasims then at least for are ability too kill spiders and open jars...