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flipphonescott Funny Status Messages
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When gas stations start charging for air--that's inflation
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01-13-2012 13:50 by
flipphonescott
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"As an alternative to dieting, I'm going to simply refer to myself as "value-sized"."
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01-14-2012 12:15 by
flipphonescott
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"I love to cook with wine, sometimes I even put it in the food."
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01-14-2012 12:18 by
flipphonescott
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"Dear life, When I said "can my day get any worse?" it was a rhetorical question, not a challenge."
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01-14-2012 12:24 by
flipphonescott
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I hate waiting in lines. I wish this lady would hurry up and pick a suspect already."
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01-16-2012 15:08 by
flipphonescott
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FREEBIRD! (When you purchase a bird of equal or lesser value.)
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01-20-2012 01:51 by
flipphonescott
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"My alarm clock probably thinks I have anger-management issues."
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01-21-2012 09:48 by
flipphonescott
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marry the 1st girl who unhooks it for you! She hates to see you struggle
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01-21-2012 10:28 by
flipphonescott
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has no problem GETTING it together, I just can't KEEP it together
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01-24-2012 02:01 by
flipphonescott
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I'm single by choice. Not MY choice, but it's still a choice.
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08-19-2012 04:05 by
flipphonescott
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any body else going to grab a six pack order a pizza and watch the GOP convention?
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08-28-2012 15:47 by
flipphonescott
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for fun put some pop rocks in the cats litter pan
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09-09-2012 00:52 by
flipphonescott
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It's hard to write a good drinking song. I can never make it past the first few bars.
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09-11-2012 21:50 by
flipphonescott
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Money can't buy happiness, but somehow it's a lot better to cry in a Mercedes than it is to cry on a bike...
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09-12-2012 13:20 by
flipphonescott
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I'm no grammar Nazi, but I hate when a girl's period comes late
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09-16-2012 14:51 by
flipphonescott
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have you ever logged on to do a 5 min project on-line and 3 hours later you are kinda suicidal ?
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09-23-2012 23:48 by
flipphonescott
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that was good I walked into walmart and walkout pissed off and a headache in under 2 mins. is it wrong to want to flip off the golden girl at the front door when she says have a nice day
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10-22-2012 16:07 by
flipphonescott
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looking for a female that will go down on me as much as dish network does!
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11-05-2012 18:04 by
flipphonescott
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Colorado Legalizes Marijuana and peyton manning buys 20 papa johns stores in Colorado! some people just get it!
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11-09-2012 07:42 by
flipphonescott
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Bed good outside bad!
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11-26-2012 08:12 by
flipphonescott
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