RoN Funny Status Messages

   thinks the fine people at Aleve are very wise indeed. For headaches, take two Aleve, and keep away from children.

   wondering ... When Weird Al Yankovic dies, will they do a parody of Michael Jackson's memorial?

   thinks he is going to adopt an African child, but he isn't going to be like Angelina Jolie and just adopt willy nilly, if he goes over there, he is coming back with a wide receiver or running back.

   thinks if he were a fighter pilot, his call sign would have to be "Hot Wings".

   wonders if you know how to tell a real cowboy from a fake one in the kitchen? The real cowboy would be on the range.

   says when my psychiatrist told me I was crazy, I told him I wanted a second opinion. He said, "Alright, you're ugly too." I guess I need to be careful what I ask for.

   n't surprised that our economy has troubles when we deal with something called Hog Futures. Hogs have no future. Bacon is not a career.

   wonders why, if you send someone a fruit basket, you are thoughtful. If I mailed someone an orange and a banana, they'd wonder, "What the hell is wrong with that guy?"

   hates it when you go down to get a midnight snack and get excited to find some treasure in the fridge, only to have your hopes and dreams dashed by the treasure being so far past it's expiration date that only Ashton Kutcher would be interested...

   The great question... which I have not been able to answer... is, "What ..does a woman want?

   woke up my wife this morning. She started feeling my face with her eyes closed. I asked her what she's doing and she said "Looking for the off button."

   Facebook has just suggested I poke my wife . . . Yeah good one facebook . . . Been trying for weeks . .

   Don't try winning an arguement with a girl, they will ALWAYS win.

   a Blonde just texted me and asked "what does idk stand for? " I said "i dont know" she said "omg! nobody does!"

   I hate it when people steal my ideas before I think of them.

   thinks work is becoming a nice little break from Facebook.

   Here it comesssss.... WOOT! WOOT! There it goessssssss.... "CHA-CHING!" Man, Payday Sux! :P

   when life throws you a lemon add the tequila and the salt !!

   Good girls are bad girls that never get caught

   found a sweet new keyboard shortcut. I wish I'd known about it before, it's so much faster! I love you ALT + F4. You make my life easy.