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Maureen Funny Status Messages
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don't put words in my mouth...my foot is already in there.
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02-11-2012 22:45 by
Maureen
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thinks animal testing is a terrible idea; what if they get all nervous and give the wrong answers?
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02-11-2012 23:04 by
Maureen
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Best part of being a grown-up? You can eat ice cream whenever you want!
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02-12-2012 16:16 by
Maureen
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Oh, I'm so sorry, did the middle of my sentence interrupt the beginning of yours?
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02-13-2012 12:53 by
Maureen
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If at first you don't succeed, do it the way I told you!
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02-13-2012 22:06 by
Maureen
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Just heard a weird noise from the other room, but refuse to call out “Is anyone there?” I've seen the movies...those people always die!
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02-13-2012 23:37 by
Maureen
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just asked my son - where would you be without your mother? His answer: "Probably in the middle of traffic, without my jacket on, talking to some stranger."
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02-15-2012 18:20 by
Maureen
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Can you smell that? That's fresh-brewed coffee mixed with Friday...delicious!
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02-17-2012 09:28 by
Maureen
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whenever I want to stop an aggressive salesman, I just interrupt his spiel and ask, "Yes, but does it work on cats?"
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02-19-2012 11:29 by
Maureen
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My house looks like a tornado sat around all day and watched TV.
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02-19-2012 23:37 by
Maureen
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Work: It isn't just for sleeping anymore.
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02-20-2012 08:21 by
Maureen
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operating a safe distance from genius this morning.
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02-20-2012 08:29 by
Maureen
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has found that when my son says "the other day", it can mean any time up to a year ago.
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02-21-2012 12:37 by
Maureen
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When people ask me for advice, I tell them, “Use your best judgment,” which they clearly don't have if they are asking me for advice.
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02-21-2012 12:46 by
Maureen
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difficulty trusting someone with colored contacts...they have already lied to me once.
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02-22-2012 13:06 by
Maureen
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If I can`t easily reach what I dropped…I begin to justify why I don`t need it.
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02-22-2012 13:37 by
Maureen
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Etc. – used to make people think you know more about a subject than you actually do!
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02-22-2012 15:39 by
Maureen
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stuck at work – and by “stuck” I mean drinking and by “work” I mean sitting in the recliner!
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02-23-2012 18:15 by
Maureen
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discovered pretending I'm sleeping to avoid something never gets old!
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02-23-2012 18:17 by
Maureen
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When my sons says, "I`ve cleaned my room," that usually means "I`ve made a path from the door to my bed."
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02-25-2012 16:53 by
Maureen
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