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MWC Funny Status Messages
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Its hard to soar like an eagle when ur running around with turkeys
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09-23-2012 17:04 by
MWC
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Sunglasses: Allowing you to stare at people without getting caught. It's like Facebook in real life.
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09-23-2012 21:05 by
MWC
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I hate when people call me and ask "WHO IS THIS?"
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09-24-2012 16:45 by
MWC
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I never called you stupid dear. But when I ask you how to spell Mississippi an you ask the state or the river...it kinda caught me off guard!
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09-25-2012 07:06 by
MWC
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Thinking of opening a bar right next to a gym and call it ''Decisions, Decisions''.
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09-25-2012 13:43 by
MWC
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On the advice of my attorney, I plead the 5th on EXACTLY what I did for a Klondike Bar.
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09-26-2012 07:02 by
MWC
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I really need a day inbetween Saturday an Sunday
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09-30-2012 10:29 by
MWC
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I like walking under the rain so no one knows I'm crying" ... B! tch please ! I like walking in the pool so no one knows I'm peeing !
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09-30-2012 10:56 by
MWC
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Dancing on my grave? Over my dead body!!!
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09-30-2012 11:08 by
MWC
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69% of everything a guy reads, he finds something dirty in it.
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09-30-2012 15:48 by
MWC
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It's Monday, and a strong possibility I may hurt someone!
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10-01-2012 13:20 by
MWC
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I put a bumper sticker on the back of my car that said "Honk if you have a small Pe nis" then intentionally cut everyone off in traffic.
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10-04-2012 07:10 by
MWC
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Life holds many challenges an can be quite frustrating. Especially for you because you're a dumba$$.
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10-04-2012 20:47 by
MWC
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Starbuck really isn't that expensive, compared to what Victoria Secret charges per cup.
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10-07-2012 11:48 by
MWC
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I was thinking earlier, thats all, just wanted everyone to know that it does happen from time to time........
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10-07-2012 21:16 by
MWC
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When I get a headache, I take 2 aspirin, and keep away from children, just like the bottle says.
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10-08-2012 14:29 by
MWC
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The only thing worse than a cold toilet seat in a Port-A-Potty...is a warm one.
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10-09-2012 06:43 by
MWC
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Dear Doctor Phil, I was wacking off, looking out our bathroom window at the neighbor lady sunbathing topless. And seen my wife watching me with her arms crossed and giving me a dirty look...My question is, Is she perverted?
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10-09-2012 14:28 by
MWC
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I think a lot better when my mind is blank!
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10-09-2012 14:47 by
MWC
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Sence its started raining, all my wife has done is looking through the windows. If it gets any worse I'm gonna have to let her in!
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10-09-2012 17:59 by
MWC
Comments (
1
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