It doesn't actually bother me much that I'll keep forgetting to write 2020 on my checks. What does bother me, is that it's 2020 and I'm still writing checks.
It finally dawned on me why I was bad at math. I noticed during school lunch that my sandwiches were only cut in half. The smart kids' sandwiches were cut into trapezoids and parallelograms.
I went to buy a set of salad plates. I asked the saleslady at Ross if they had any 8" plates. She said, "Plates are like men." I asked, "How so?" She goes, "They say 8", but they're actually 6".
NEWS FLASH! I was hired to proof read the original 10 Commandments. Well let me tell you that I found a big mistake with #7. It should have read: Thou shalt not omit adultery.
I went to confession last week. Things in my life have apparently gotten way out of hand, and I mean WAY out. For my penance, the priest gave me 3 Hail Marys, 3 Our Fathers and a Crucifixion.