markf Funny Status Messages

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   messageicon saw a man get out of his convertible at Wal-Mart yesterday, take two steps and then turn back to lock the doors. I chuckled because the top was down.
←Rate | 03-26-2010 09:03 by markf Comments (0)  


   messageicon can't figure out why the Toyota Prius owners would be worried about brakes, since the car can't go fast enough to hurt anything anyway.
←Rate | 02-04-2010 16:29 by markf Comments (0)  


   messageicon relieved that even tho 230,000 government workers couldn't make it past the blizzard to work in DC this week, the country has somehow managed to continue as if nothing happened.
←Rate | 02-10-2010 10:04 by markf Comments (0)  


   messageicon would like to see a more man-friendly mall for next Christmas. It needs to have a Home Depot, AutoZone, Bass Pro Shop, Lowe's, Sears, Gander Mtn, Pep Boys, a Longhorn Steakhouse and ESPN radio playing over the christmas tunes.
←Rate | 12-23-2010 07:32 by markf Comments (1)  


   messageicon thinking that Venti must be the Italian word for "you just paid an insane amount of money for a cup of coffee."
←Rate | 11-18-2010 09:43 by markf Comments (1)  


   messageicon looking at the "voluntary" tax contribution box on his 1040 form and wondering what planet those IRS guys are from.
←Rate | 04-12-2010 08:48 by markf Comments (0)  


   messageicon there any way to really know how many camouflage shirts are in your house?
←Rate | 01-24-2017 19:22 by markf Comments (0)  


   messageicon So let me get this straight -- somewhere a huge NSA data center is storing untold terabytes of data with text like "lol my cat just did a funny" and "u looking good gf"
←Rate | 01-17-2014 22:26 by markf Comments (0)  


   messageicon read that a new study indicates that 80% of children aged 0 to 5 are already exposed to some computer use. In response to show their concern, Apple Computer has announced the new iCrib to target the remaining 20%.
←Rate | 03-16-2011 11:24 by markf Comments (0)  


   messageicon Think I will use this CSV receipt to wrap up like a mummy for Halloween. BONUS: You can scan me for $1 off any 2 liter drink
←Rate | 09-28-2017 21:42 by markf Comments (0)  


   messageicon If I live to be 100, I will just make up a reason when people ask how. "I eat acorns every day."
←Rate | 10-02-2017 19:00 by markf Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'm pretty sure my $2 Sportsclips coupon already told you I am not interested in the $60 shampoo, but thanks for showing it to me anyway.
←Rate | 09-12-2017 00:34 by markf Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'm concerned that America will lose the next time we are invaded because this generation will be too busy staring at their phones to notice.
←Rate | 12-17-2013 08:33 by markf Comments (0)  


   messageicon snuck his daughter's phone and changed his contact info to Batman. Now it's a little more exciting when she gets a text like 'get ready. picking you up in 5 mins.
←Rate | 03-22-2010 08:51 by markf Comments (1)  


   messageicon Wondering if there are any cold days in Hell, and if so does Satan slam his fist and say, "okay what band just got back together?"
←Rate | 11-07-2017 11:43 by markf Comments (0)  


   messageicon wearing his ninja shirt today. It has ninjas all over it, but most people just think it's a blank shirt.
←Rate | 01-31-2011 11:36 by markf Comments (0)  


   messageicon wonders if someone driving a VW bug knows they are causing fistfights wherever they go.
←Rate | 09-15-2010 22:06 by markf Comments (1)  


   messageicon So would the ACLU defend me if I protested and burned down ACLU headquarters?
←Rate | 03-27-2014 20:57 by markf Comments (0)  


   messageicon thinks that without Analytical Geometry, life is pointless.
←Rate | 11-26-2011 13:29 by markf Comments (0)  


   messageicon thinking that now that I have a laptop computer, iPhone, GPS and tablet PC, my ADD is actually a positive thing now.
←Rate | 12-29-2010 19:20 by markf Comments (0)  



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