Marshall the Great Funny Status Messages

View All Funny Status Messages

Sort:  Recent   |   Oldest   |   Rating
Trump Filter: ON | OFF


Search Messages:
[Clear]

Search results for status messages containing 'Marshall the Great': View All Messages
Page: 2 of 132

   messageicon Accidentally took a women's multi vitamin and I've been trying to get dressed for the past 3 hours, but everything is making me look fat.
←Rate | 08-12-2012 16:43 by Marshall the Great Comments (2)  


   messageicon Before making your three wishes, make sure your genie has a good command of English. Unrelated: would anyone like to purchase a massive rooster, a bunch of wet, Brazilian cats and a large section of donkey?
←Rate | 06-05-2012 14:10 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon Someone at work has been stealing my lunch from the refrigerator....... Tomorrow, I'm bringing a cat food sandwich... BON APPETIT MOTHER F*CKER!!!
←Rate | 03-27-2012 14:10 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon The best part about living by myself is not having to explain why I fell asleep on the kitchen counter… naked… again.
←Rate | 01-18-2012 06:33 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon If you think it's necessary to judge me by my past, don't get mad when I put you there.
←Rate | 11-21-2010 08:51 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon No matter how old you are, no matter how much of a bad ass are, if a toddler hands you their ringing toy phone, you answer it.
←Rate | 06-03-2011 11:53 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon If you like to make love while listening to music, always choose a live album. That way you'll get an applause every 3 to 4 minutes.
←Rate | 05-16-2011 14:10 by Marshall the Great Comments (1)  


   messageicon Its ironic how the colors Red, White and Blue represent freedom... until they are flashing behind your back.
←Rate | 05-03-2012 16:07 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon Sex is a great way to get rid of stress, so go f*ck yourself and calm down
←Rate | 06-08-2012 18:49 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon You're on Facebook on a Saturday night talking about how hard you're partying. But there's a problem... You're on Facebook on a Saturday night talking about how hard you're partying. You're not fooling anyone.
←Rate | 07-23-2011 15:40 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon My neighbor put up his Christmas lights today. I bet he's pissed that I beat him to it. I put mine up three years ago.
←Rate | 11-27-2010 13:47 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon Be thankful for Facebook, the way gas prices are headed we may never actually see each other again.
←Rate | 03-20-2012 14:53 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon I just had 14 beers at Chuck E. Cheese's... and this band is f*cking awesome!
←Rate | 04-30-2012 20:36 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon Sometimes I'll stand up in a meeting and say "You just gave me an idea!" Then I leave the room, drive home, and go to bed.
←Rate | 07-11-2011 14:09 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon This guy's all like "I think you've had enough beers for one night." Then I'm all "Scrw you, fridge. Appliances can't even talk."
←Rate | 05-23-2011 13:28 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon There are only two types of honest people in this world, small children and drunk people.
←Rate | 12-16-2010 13:25 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon Take photos of friends with their face squished against glass. Assign to your phone contacts... it'll look like they're trapped inside your phone!
←Rate | 01-22-2011 21:09 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon If my erection lasts longer than four hours, SHE's the one who's going to need to see a doctor
←Rate | 05-04-2011 16:23 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon I remember when downloading a song meant trying to tape it off the radio while hoping the DJ didn't talk over the song.
←Rate | 02-10-2011 17:17 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'm honestly convinced some women do not fart. They just hold it in, and it comes out as drama.
←Rate | 01-03-2013 21:49 by Marshall the Great Comments (1)  



[Search Results] [View All Messages]
Submit your own funny facebook status message here:
Name:
Status Message:

... characters left