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Marshall the Great Funny Status Messages
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I may look calm, but in my head I've punched you in the face 3 times!
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03-23-2011 16:33 by
Marshall the Great
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Be thankful for Facebook, the way gas prices are headed we may never actually see each other again.
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03-20-2012 14:53 by
Marshall the Great
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I have just painted a blue square on the garden to trick people viewing Google Earth into thinking I have a swimming pool!
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10-20-2010 10:48 by
Marshall the Great
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Now that you really think about it, you've never seen me and Batman in the same room have you?
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01-19-2011 14:00 by
Marshall the Great
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3
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This guy's all like "I think you've had enough beers for one night." Then I'm all "Scrw you, fridge. Appliances can't even talk."
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05-23-2011 13:28 by
Marshall the Great
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Facebook: A place where all your past mistakes will eventually try to befriend you.
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06-10-2010 05:46 by
Marshall the Great
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No matter how old you are, no matter how much of a bad ass are, if a toddler hands you their ringing toy phone, you answer it.
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06-03-2011 11:53 by
Marshall the Great
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So, Martin Luther King, Jr. had to wait 40 years to get his own momunent, and then they make it out of white marble? Awkward...
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09-02-2011 21:36 by
Marshall the Great
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1
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I remember when downloading a song meant trying to tape it off the radio while hoping the DJ didn't talk over the song.
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02-10-2011 17:17 by
Marshall the Great
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If you like to make love while listening to music, always choose a live album. That way you'll get an applause every 3 to 4 minutes.
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05-16-2011 14:10 by
Marshall the Great
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1
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I just had 14 beers at Chuck E. Cheese's... and this band is f*cking awesome!
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04-30-2012 20:36 by
Marshall the Great
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Sometimes Google should just come back with a message that says "trust me, you don't want to know."
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09-28-2011 14:58 by
Marshall the Great
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The best part about living by myself is not having to explain why I fell asleep on the kitchen counter… naked… again.
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01-18-2012 06:33 by
Marshall the Great
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Stealing candy from a baby is actually pretty hard....... They always have adult friends nearby....... and they're loud snitches.......
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05-07-2012 22:08 by
Marshall the Great
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Every guy has a soft sensitive side. It's called “I need to get laid and I'll say and do anything to make it happen.”
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11-16-2012 11:07 by
Marshall the Great
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A movie ticket for a baby should cost at least $50.
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08-19-2012 23:50 by
Marshall the Great
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2
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I hate when people say, "I gotta get my body right for the summer." ...like, wtf are you going to do about your face???
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03-29-2011 19:42 by
Marshall the Great
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0
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Take photos of friends with their face squished against glass. Assign to your phone contacts... it'll look like they're trapped inside your phone!
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01-22-2011 21:09 by
Marshall the Great
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At the grocery store, they usually have 6 check out lanes open, unless it's really busy, then they only use one.
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12-19-2010 14:23 by
Marshall the Great
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0
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If you think it's necessary to judge me by my past, don't get mad when I put you there.
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11-21-2010 08:51 by
Marshall the Great
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