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Lil-David Funny Status Messages
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Not every idiot can read........But look at you go!
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09-19-2013 07:09 by
Lil-David
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I bought a counterfeit money detector pen, You should see the expression on my dope mans face when I used it to check the change from the 8-ball...
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09-17-2013 05:21 by
Lil-David
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Memo to New Orleans: You can't turn the Superdome into a sewer this time., emergency shelter will be at the black crack neighbors house!
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08-27-2012 03:25 by
Lil-David
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The girl on the stripper pole got mad because I gave her a monopoly dollar, well fake boobs, fake hair, fake nails gets fake dollars!
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09-16-2013 23:50 by
Lil-David
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Lets not get overly excited about the government shutdown, Walmart is still open!
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10-02-2013 15:11 by
Lil-David
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I found the key to happiness, giving the wife money for bingo and giving the kids the newest PS4 game.... Beer 30!
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09-19-2013 06:52 by
Lil-David
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I taught my neighbors kid how to trick or treat online, hopefully she puts her mothers credit card back!
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10-31-2013 21:55 by
Lil-David
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If a man speaks his mind in a forest, and a woman doesn't hear him, is he still wrong?
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09-19-2013 00:36 by
Lil-David
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Have you heard about the blind hooker?.....You've gotta hand it to her!
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09-22-2013 08:06 by
Lil-David
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I made a desicion to practice celibancy,and my right hand asked if we separated....
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09-17-2013 03:13 by
Lil-David
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I wonder if, Wes Craven died in his sleep....Or did he go out with a Scream?
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08-31-2015 12:26 by
Lil-David
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Amazon is now offering Special Christmas Drone Deliveries to Pakistan!
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12-07-2013 14:57 by
Lil-David
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I wish minimum wage went up as much as the price of postage stamps...
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12-26-2013 06:07 by
Lil-David
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Name two things that will disappear if you ignore them long enough- Snow and Adolescence!
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09-17-2013 21:18 by
Lil-David
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Today Facebook was down, so I had to actually talk to my people that didn't live in my computer... I haven't done that in a few years, hope I don't get sick!
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10-21-2013 15:00 by
Lil-David
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I have a cell phone a Ipad a laptop, stop sending me reminders to turn my clocks back...it's called automatic updates!
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10-31-2013 22:44 by
Lil-David
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Lets Do The 2014 New Years Hump Today!
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01-01-2014 08:03 by
Lil-David
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I think premature male baldness should be the next race card..
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12-24-2013 07:35 by
Lil-David
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If websites had closing hours divorces, murder and pregnancy would double.
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12-15-2013 15:36 by
Lil-David
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"Hey David... Do you talk to your girlfriend while you are having sex? "Only if there's a phone handy"
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09-22-2013 18:10 by
Lil-David
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