Leeferd Funny Status Messages

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   messageicon If an indoor shooting range is burning, what does one scream to inform them?
←Rate | 08-11-2010 12:22 by Leeferd Comments (0)  


   messageicon You can make the same drive 100's of times but a good dense fog makes it feel like a totally new experience.
←Rate | 04-23-2010 08:28 by Leeferd Comments (0)  


   messageicon Some days I just feel like the token black guy.
←Rate | 08-12-2010 07:31 by Leeferd Comments (1)  


   messageicon Guys with phone holsters surely would have been gunned down quickly in the old west.
←Rate | 07-09-2010 08:41 by Leeferd Comments (0)  


   messageicon The heat doesn't seem so bad when you think how hot it must be for the cook who just dripped sweat in your lunch.
←Rate | 08-13-2010 08:50 by Leeferd Comments (0)  


   messageicon always beats Edward Scissorhands in rock-paper-scissors.
←Rate | 06-25-2010 16:58 by Leeferd Comments (0)  


   messageicon You know you're getting old when you no longer buy cereal for the prize but for the fiber content.
←Rate | 06-08-2010 08:39 by Leeferd Comments (0)  


   messageicon not a stalker, I'm just bad with goodbyes.
←Rate | 06-11-2010 07:27 by Leeferd Comments (0)  


   messageicon People never say, "Boy that was sure a great Ben Affleck movie".
←Rate | 05-15-2010 11:45 by Leeferd Comments (0)  


   messageicon Today's word of advice: Never take a muscle relaxer if you've got the trots.
←Rate | 10-13-2010 08:38 by Leeferd Comments (0)  


   messageicon Woke up naked in a Quick Lube. I'm on the lift. No sign of my car. This can't be good.
←Rate | 07-29-2010 09:43 by Leeferd Comments (0)  


   messageicon madder than a midget without a show on TLC.
←Rate | 03-31-2010 13:24 by Leeferd Comments (0)  


   messageicon "This Cold Medicine Lasts 8 Hours" is the "I Promise I'll Pull Out, Baby" of the pharmaceutical industry.
←Rate | 05-27-2010 14:30 by Leeferd Comments (0)  


   messageicon I've gotta come clean. That's why I masturbate with Purell®.
←Rate | 05-23-2010 08:47 by Leeferd Comments (0)  


   messageicon There is a difference between a porn stash and a porn 'stache.
←Rate | 07-28-2010 12:33 by Leeferd Comments (0)  


   messageicon I wonder if the band that recorded the Saved By The Bell theme ever gets together once in a while just to jam.
←Rate | 08-13-2010 08:46 by Leeferd Comments (0)  


   messageicon Why is it you never crave Chick-Fil-A until it's Sunday...the one day they're NOT open?
←Rate | 03-21-2010 10:19 by Leeferd Comments (0)  


   messageicon If fire escapes were replaced with waterslides people would use them a lot more.
←Rate | 08-19-2010 21:19 by Leeferd Comments (0)  


   messageicon They should pass out TUCKS® Medicated Pads at my office because everyone in here is an irritated asshole.
←Rate | 08-01-2010 22:04 by Leeferd Comments (0)  


   messageicon The way my luck runs, if I were hanging on to the side of a cliff for dear life, the person reaching down to pull me up would be a leper.
←Rate | 06-16-2010 08:23 by Leeferd Comments (0)  



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