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It's hard to be optimistic about the future when you go to YouTube and see how many people videotape their TV. 
I took a taste from the bag of white powder I found in my son's backpack and my worst fears were realized. Gymnastic chalk.
They should put mini M&M's inside regular ones and make M&M's Pregnants.
The best thing about sex is that part where I have it.
Alec Baldwin wouldn't have been booted from the plane today if he played the part of the pilot
I find SpongeBob to be a little self-absorbed.
wut the hell..no more jokes? my fb fanz gon b pissed
Dear karma, I have a list of people you missed....
Wow these ranch flavored mini rice cakes really taste like I could have saved $2.49 by just dipping those styrofoam packaging peanuts in ranch dressing.....
If ‘ifs' and ‘buts' were candy and nuts, we'd all have a merry Christmas.
When a mime dies, do mourners ask for a moment of talking?
Everything happens for a reason. Getting stupid and making poor decisions are the most common reasons.
Teddy Kennedy, Slick Willie, & Harvey Weinstein...all champions for women's rights!
This might as well be CNN or FOX NEWS
don't you just love those who have no education who spout their ridiculous uninformed views all over the place?
We should throw a politician in jail every day for the next 10 years. Even if we don’t know why, they do.
I Hate when my wife asks me to hold her purse at the grocery store line,, cause I really don't like being that guy holding two purses.
Has anyone created a national do not poke list for Facebook yet?
I remember how it felt soooo good to turn my lights out for Earth Hour... On hindsight, I probably shouldn't have been driving at the time.
What an idiot that Maury is, inviting me onto his "Father's Day DNA special"..... I don't even have any kids. 