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People who confuse the word "burro" with "burrow" don't know their ass from a hole in the ground.
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06-05-2020 08:22
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I googled my symptoms into Web Md. Turns out I have Gary Busey .
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06-25-2020 23:07
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Tried to make my own hand sanitizer but I think I just made a margarita.
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06-27-2020 22:25
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The worst part about working from home is when your coworkers clog the toilet
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07-06-2020 12:38
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I feel like I'm watching a tv show called "Lockdown Got Talent" because this lockdown has people thinking they're gym instructors, chefs, dancers, etc...
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07-06-2020 19:32 by
Gabe
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Brooks Brothers just filed for bankruptcy, so now I might never be able to use this $50 gift card on one sock.
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07-10-2020 08:42
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Hate is too powerful an emotion to waste on somebody you don't even like.
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07-16-2020 05:45
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Supermoon was OK... But according to Rotten Tomatoes, still way better than Supermoon v Batmoon.
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11-14-2016 20:00 by
snotty
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What if Ghosts try to kill you only because they want you as a friend? You ever think about that? No. You only think about yourself.
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11-26-2016 03:14
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I'll be home for Christmas.....and in therapy by New Years.
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12-08-2016 09:12
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Things Irish people simply won't do on St. Patrick's Day: 1) Drink green beer. 2) Twerk with leprechauns. 3) Spend $40 on dollar store stuff.
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03-14-2017 04:57
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I've started visiting orgies dressed as a Ninja-Turtle! I'm really coming out of my shell these days!
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11-16-2018 07:56 by
Truman
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OMG I can't believe I just did that. I called someone without texting first to see if it was ok that I called them. Yikes!!!
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11-16-2018 16:53 by
Frank
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Not so great minds also think alike!
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11-29-2018 07:42 by
Truman
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My teenage son says that fanny packs are back in style at his high school. I HAVE BEEN WAITING FOR THIS MOMENT MY ENTIRE LIFE!
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11-30-2018 11:25
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Some girl just asked me out, well she actually told me to get out of my store, but I know what she really meant
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12-10-2018 19:06
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I need a vacation that I may or may not ever come back from.
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12-13-2018 13:11 by
Kisstopher707
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Three things I'm grateful for, 1. Family 2. Friends 3. Caller ID to advoid family and friends.
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12-14-2018 04:19 by
Joker
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Why do we say that an alarm clock is going off when really it's coming on?
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12-14-2018 07:22
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"Do not touch" must be one of the scariest things to read in braille.
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12-16-2018 05:24 by
Joker
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