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I would take a bullet for my wife, unless it was fired out of a gun. 
The biggest trick life plays on us, is the inability to fully appreciate something until it's gone. Except for broccoli.
watching the news and hearing all the uproar about Gay Marriages and Gay Weddings. Hmmmm..flowers, classical music, people dancing to the Village People and Sister Sledge...Aren't all weddings Gay?
The Lord says he doesn't give you anymore than you can handle... I think he has me confused with somebody else...
has decided his unmade bed is art in another medium and should not destroy it!!
I knew a transsexual guy whose only ambition is to eat, drink, and be Mary.
Have no fear of perfection–you'll never reach it.
Break up is like a broken mirror. It's better to leave it broken than hurting yourself trying to fix it.
not remotely sober. Nor am I sober up close.
Scientists have been investigating how snails know how to find their way home. WTF? It's on their backs.
Aplogizing is like "whiteout". It covers the problem, but its still there.
The people at Visa are going out of their way to give me credit. And for that, I'm deeply indebted
on an important conference call. I guess I should be listening but my farms need tending dammit!
STRESS:- The bodies natural physiological response to restraining oneself from strangling the living s#$t of someone who really deserves it. ahhhh gotta love my job!!! lol
- The term Friend is put about far too easy .... A friend to me is more about action then words !!!
wondering what a conversation between Chewbaca & the teacher from "Peanuts" would be like? Who would interpret?
you get what you pay for... Nothing proves this more than toilet paper and hookers
I have reasons to believe the term 'More bang for your buck' was first used by Hookers..
I'd love to have sat in the marketing analysis meetings that gave us our early cartoons. "You know what America would love? A batsh*t crazy woodpecker, that's what! And a pig, a stuttering f*cking pig!"
I saw the new Facebook movie. Filling the theater with annoying people adds a realistic touch. 