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What a good morning!* *Facebook status update may or may not contain BS. 
i hear hell is hot this time of year..
This is no ordinary silly grin on my face, it's an educated one.
BP announced today that the oil in the Gulf needs to be changed every six months
Six different television shows about cake and not a single one about milk. I sense opportunity!
"I've just about had it with you using up all my patience!"
It's not even 10 o'clock and I've already used up all my "give a crap" for the day.
Thanks for the passive aggressive facebook status about me, but I'm taking the passively passive approach by not caring.
A word to the wise ain't necessary, its the stupid ones that need the advice..
i can outsmart a lot of ppl on a computer...it's the real world that makes me look like an idiot
I've got a pretty good pre-rapture music mix going: "End of the World as We Know It," "Disco Apocalypse" and, of course, "Stairway to Heaven." Any other suggestions?
If something I said can be interpreted two ways, and one way makes you sad or angry...I meant the OTHER way...
going to go out on a limb here...I think there is a very good possibility Gaddafi just might be the one on hallucinogenic drugs...just sayin!
"an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, nestled in a sesame seed bun of mystery."
I've always wonder who came up with the phrase "sh!ts and giggles", because the two have always been mutually exclusive for me....
Speaking in a reasonable voice doesn't make your argument reasonable.
Its Friday, Anything worth doing is worth doing weird.
Saw a beautiful set of teeth in Walmart tonight. Unfortunately they weren't all in the same mouth.
They told me I can catch more flies with honey than with vingar. I said "I can catch even more with manure, whats the point?"
I always thought someone coughing all day got right on my nerves. It appears I was wrong, it's actually someone sniffing 