Danmanz Funny Status Messages

   It really sucks seeing a profile pic of two girls and the hot one is always someone else.

   If you are living your life without giving a 'F', you are only living a LI[ ]E.

   JUSTIN BIEBER: "I'm famous because I have thousands of fans and I am only 18." GOKU: "B!tch I have billions of fans and I don't even exist."

   A teenager's brain is 80% song lyrics.

   You are born to move mountains but you're still stuck on rocks.

   They show sex on TV, but radio has 'Bleeps'.......Way to go FCC.

   Aww I'm sorry you're mad the world doesn't revolve around you. Here...let me pour you a nice, tall glass of Get Over It.

   Shopping for a minivan at a car show while you're married is like going to a strip club and looking at the DJ.

   Ladies, we men don't ask for much. We're very simple beings. All we want is food, sex, money, and silence. Feed Me, Fu¢k Me, Pay Me, & STFU. That's all!

   "So.....you went to college to get a job and you have a job to pay for college." .....What a great economic system the Rothschilds & Rockefellers created!

   What!? High schools with daycare centers!!....Now see what you did MTV by having that 16 & Pregnant mess! I hope you're happy.

   When a married couple stops having sex, at first they complain about it...but after awhile y'all get used to it. She walks out of the shower and you don't even look...because you know there is nothing there for you.

   Do girls imagine themselves sucking in a invisible spaghetti when they're about to take a picture?

   Women....why does your purse need a seat of it's own?

   You think Zelda would be a lot more "appreciative" of Link for saving her. The boy went through like 7 dungeons & caves, at least give him the sex he deserves.

   MAN: "Hi. I'm Bond.....James Bond. What's your name?" WOMAN: "Off.....Fu¢k Off."

   Great...now everybody is a damn food photographer. Hope this fad dies out quicker than Planking.

   If any woman says "I love you" to me for the first time, then I have the right to say "Do you have evidence to support that statement?"

   I'll start respecting religion when it starts respecting every human being equally regardless of race, gender, & sexuality.

   Curiousity killed virginity.