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Just a reminder that no Canadian team has won the Stanley Cup since they force Nickleback on the world. 
Does the name “Quasimodo” ring a bell?
Don't worry, it only seems kinky the first time.
If LaBron is really serious about winning he would sign with the Harlem Globetrotters
I have a beard and tattoos why are you still wearing panties? Yes, I want fries. No, I don't want a receipt. Stop changing the subject.
Just shot three vampires and a zombie. You're welcome.
Your story doesn't add up, so feel free to stop lying.
There are times that I think that her lazy eye is just playing hard to get.
Please hurry up with your story.. That I care absolutely nothing about... I'm afraid if I keep this fake smile on my face any longer, its guna get stuck this way.
It's that time of year again when our thoughts should turn to those less well off in our towns and cities, so remember to lock your doors and windows...
The bra section. The only place in the world where you fail if you get an A.
Global warming sucks but I'm kind of looking forward to riding a jet ski to work every day.
would've gotten away with it too if it wasn't for you meddling kids.
It's about how hard you can get hit and keep moving forward; how much you can take and keep moving forward. That's how winning is done! - Rocky Balboa
If there's one thing the internet has taught me over the years.... It's that alot of money would be saved during the deconstruction of old buildings if we just fired some angry birds at them.
I used to have faith in humanity...then I stepped into Wal-Mart.
I am willing to promise my kids anything just so they go away for a while. I learned that trick from the government.
If you can tell I'm drunk, you need to catch up.
My girlfriend told me to grow a pear... What the hell does fruit have to do with killing this spider?
50 Shades of Grey..Girls can't wait to read it and Guys can't wait for the movie! 