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12 days to Valentine...
...wives have become more polite than customer care.. 
I just invented a new word: Plagiarism.
Between the Super Bowl commercials and today’s teen challenges...Tide is killing it!
When I saw the stock market plummet, I may have overreacted a bit by eating my neighbors cat...
Facebook is taking up too much of my time, I'm taking a break. I'll be back after I go get my coffee
I saw a man at the beach yelling "Help, shark! Help!" I just laughed, I knew that shark wasn't going to help him.
Girls want attention, Women want respect. But Men want both... And I mean - both Girls and Women
Drinking always starts out as the best idea you’ve ever had.
This is my salad fork. That's my dinner fork. This is my lasagna shovel.
October surprise. . . indeed.
Election 2016. The real American Horror Story.....
We finally have a story to tell OUR grandchildren, "I was alive the LAST time the Cubs won the world series!"
If you can't identify the 80s movie by the opening song's electric keyboard, we probably can't be friends.
I'm just here to finish my community service hours.
I can't be trusted with your alphabet magnets.
I only enjoy making friends in non election years.
This year, they should give out Xanax with the 'I voted' sticker.
U-Haul stocks are up today :)
What a great day to be alive and an American on this day of Remberance and Honor of the Men and Women who answered the call of duty and the sacrifices they have made to keep us free., thank you and know this we will never forget, we will never surrender
Things get back to normal tomorrow when Supermoon returns to work as mild mannered reporter Clark Moon. 