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Marshall the Great Funny Status Messages
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Page: 13 of 134
It doesn't take much to make a woman happy, but it takes even less to make her mad.
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03-20-2012 10:54 by
Marshall the Great
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All I want for Christmas, is to keep the things I've got.
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10-13-2010 08:37 by
Marshall the Great
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I liked you better before we met.
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03-28-2012 20:58 by
Marshall the Great
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Learn to appreciate what you have, before time makes you appreciate what you had.
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03-17-2011 11:48 by
Marshall the Great
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Happy Father's Day Dad! Whoever you are...
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06-19-2011 12:49 by
Marshall the Great
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"Hello modelling agency?" "Yeah, my Facebook photo has 27 likes and I think I'm ready to go pro."
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04-12-2013 11:05 by
Marshall the Great
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I hate when I'm set on running a yellow light and the person in front of me chickens out.
185
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08-11-2012 23:40 by
Marshall the Great
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My new boss: Those cigarettes will kill you. Me: My Great-Grandfather lived to be 102. Boss: Smoking? Me: Minding his own business.
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08-30-2011 13:36 by
Marshall the Great
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The man in front of me is buying a pregnancy test. I bet this is the one time in his life, he wishes she sent him for tampons.
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09-26-2010 14:55 by
Marshall the Great
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Thinking about writing a children's book called "Stop asking me for sh!t."
112
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09-27-2011 15:08 by
Marshall the Great
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Apparently it was a bad idea to ask Siri, "What do women want?" She's been talking for the last 2 days and doesn't seem ready to shut up anytime soon.
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05-21-2012 12:51 by
Marshall the Great
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Mark Zuckerberg screwed over his class mates and best friend. Do you honestly think he cares about your opinion on the new Timeline layout?
112
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04-02-2012 13:49 by
Marshall the Great
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When someone calls shotgun I yell Rosa Parks and sit in the seat and refuse to move.
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09-04-2012 12:49 by
Marshall the Great
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All voicemails from my Grandmother start with "HELLO! HELLO!" and end with her trying to dial another number.
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09-30-2011 11:05 by
Marshall the Great
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So it's said, "What doesn't kill you makes you stronger." I say, "What doesn't kill me better run like hell!"
84
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06-30-2011 16:29 by
Marshall the Great
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0
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Just when you think you have buried the past, They find another Body...
84
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11-29-2010 09:57 by
Marshall the Great
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When you are arguing with an idiot, make sure the other person isn't doing the same thing
84
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12-16-2010 13:42 by
Marshall the Great
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I'm making a list of regrets. Just to be sure I'm accurate, how do you spell your name again?
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02-10-2012 12:43 by
Marshall the Great
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Are you single single or internet single?
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10-21-2011 16:08 by
Marshall the Great
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Do the right thing today: Go to someone's profile, ccroll down 4 months, and like something.
56
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03-17-2012 15:14 by
Marshall the Great
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