I am thinking about going back to college to further my education. Just don't know if I am gonna fit into the stripper clothes I am gonna need to be able to pay for it.
The world isn't going to end today. Anyway, I'll check the status of my joke after the Winter Solstice, I can't get a signal in my nuclear bomb shelter...
A police officer stopped me last night whilst I was driving home from the bar. "Do you know why I was following you?" he asked. "Because my Facebook Stastus are funny?" I replied, absolutely hammered.
i walked past my mother-in-law's house today that was on fire. I spotted her screaming from the top window, "SAVE ME, SAVE ME!!!" ...So I did! ...as my new screensaver.