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I remember how it felt so good to turn my lights out for Earth Hour... On hindsight, I probably shouldn't have been driving at the time. 
I love myself everyday. Sometimes, twice a day.
May the guy who invented SpellCheck burn in Hello
. I think mydog looks out the window when I leave for work to see that's it safe to lay on the sofa.
in 1964 the wage was 5 silver quarters. Today 5 silver quarters are worth $15.50. We dont need to raise the wage, but to fix our money.
You're never too old to be spanked. If you play your cards right.
leave it to Hugh Hefner to die on hump day
Someone here said that bullying and insulting people, for no good reason, means you're doing things right. When did humanity get so stupid?
The only problem with sport fishing is that the fish have a home field advantage.
I have to get with the times on this social media stuff. All this time I thought Instagram was a convenient way to obtain cocaine.
So I now have 921 friends on my friends list and I just wanted to let you know that you are all awesome people and I love each and everyone of you!!! <3
Except #631
Don't forget to set your bathroom scale back 15 pounds before eating your Thanksgiving dinner. Happy Thanksgiving :-)
Always choose a proctologist with a good butt-side manner.
Ha ha suckas....Pie and Cake are safer to eat than salad!
The Chicken is offended that even after all the jokes, the crossing on the road is still named after Deer .
Surely not EVERYBODY was Kung Fu Fighting.
The subtle art of knowing better but doing it anyway.
A Nightmare on Elm Street is a Christmas movie. Freddy wears a red and green sweater, and gives parents the gift of taking away their crippling financial burden.
My grandfather use to say "Don't believe everything you hear." which was good advice...... Or was it ?
Advice for those people who want to discuss politics tomorrow at the dinner table... Just don't 