Marshall the Great Funny Status Messages

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   messageicon A woman said to me earlier....... "You're the most sarcastic bstard I know." I said, "Thanks....... That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me."
←Rate | 09-21-2012 00:07 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon What is the appropriate gift to give your woman on your 5th year anniversary..... of the restraining order?
←Rate | 05-27-2011 12:23 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon What I told her is "I'm not your type." What I meant is "I'm outta your league."
←Rate | 07-04-2011 10:27 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon Why didn't they just kill Gilligan on Gilligan's Island? If he hadn't screwed crap up, they could've been off that damn island years before. And what's with Skipper? You don't get that fat eating coconuts. That fat ba$tard is hiding something.
←Rate | 02-16-2011 11:28 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon One of the most exciting things about life is not knowing what's next.
←Rate | 01-03-2011 22:14 by Marshall the Great Comments (5)  


   messageicon The right to be heard does not automatically include the right to be taken seriously.
←Rate | 10-20-2010 11:02 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon I Dont Care if he's a werewolf, its snowing, and the least he could do is put on a f*cking shirt!
←Rate | 07-02-2010 01:46 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon I think that what I like most about myself is that I'm so understanding when I do something wrong.
←Rate | 06-06-2010 21:05 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon Even though the little kid was having a tantrum, his mom was unphased. "You might as well give up on the crying," I heard her say as she led him to the store exit. "You're stuck with me for 18 years."
←Rate | 09-02-2012 20:18 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon I have give myself a pat on the back. I've been workin' with Ms. Know-it-all for almost two years... and she is still breathin'. :)
←Rate | 05-25-2012 15:13 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon I believe that there will be a war of the sexes one day and the male leader will rally his troops for battle by riding through the ranks shouting, "REMEMBER THE ALIMONYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!!!!!!!!!!
←Rate | 03-20-2012 11:30 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon I need a spring loaded bed so if I don't want to get up, it will just throw me out of it.
←Rate | 03-29-2012 09:54 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon It must've been awkward taking a dump during the Hunger Games, knowing that the whole country could potentially be watching you.
←Rate | 04-11-2012 20:34 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon Who thought it was a good idea to make commercials 5 minutes longer than the actual show you are watching?
←Rate | 10-07-2010 19:51 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon It would be really funny if the GPS changed voices depending on what part of town you are in. YOOO Man, Yawll enturrin da ghetto! teerrrn leffft and' hit up tha likor store beeotch! Nah Nah Nah Nah Yawll misst da teeern. You are reallly dumm. Fur reel.
←Rate | 02-26-2013 15:06 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon A friend of mine bought an iPod Touch. I checked it out... It's just like an iPhone, but you can't make calls. No wait, it's exactly like an iPhone.
←Rate | 07-19-2010 06:58 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon If God is watching us, the least we can do is be entertaining.
←Rate | 09-26-2010 15:32 by Marshall the Great Comments (1)  


   messageicon Not making a Mexican joke today was one of my Gooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooals
←Rate | 12-16-2012 22:13 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'm putting way too much pressure on my coffee this morning.
←Rate | 08-13-2011 05:12 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon I just realized that I'll never see a genuine ninja...because if I do, it wasn't.
←Rate | 09-14-2011 15:14 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  



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