Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump

   thought he had a good tan... until he took a shower!

   in your boyfriends extended network.

   LOVING CAPS LOCK

   figured out that plastic surgery allows women to make their outer appearance resemble their inner appearance -- fake.

   textually active

   bartending at the Betty Ford Clinic

   silently judging you.

   "if your a Vin Diesel fan, in all fairness you should not be reading his status. You should be home coloring."

   out of her mind and have gone to look for it.

   pondering on incoherent thoughts that pertain to this abstract dilemma

   had a handle on life but it broke

   fresh out of witty sarcasm

   now available without a prescription

   "now available in all stores. Side effects include: unusual bleeding or bruising, nausea and death."

   [censored]

   sick and tired of always being sick and tired!

   melting in your mouth not in your hands

   knew the aliens would let him go sometime.

   the epitome of excellence.

   Used To Be Schizophrenic? But They're OK Now.