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If you enter this world knowing you are loved and you leave this world knowing the same, then everything that happens in between can be dealt with. 
Good girls are bad girls that never get caught.
Many Jägerbombs = (Good Times + Memory Loss) / (Loss of Balance - Contents of Stomach * Hangover^115)
currently in the Jehovah's Witness Protection Program.
I know when I'm cranky, because everyone around me starts acting like idiots.
I do lots of stuff in my back yard that's illegal to do in public.
The weather over here is terrible. Last night I dreamt it actually stopped raining. I love a good dry dream.
Thanks to procrastination, my schedule is always full.
Grams, Ounces, Kilos. Drugs: Blending the world's units of measurement, teaching math skills and uniting continents for decades.
liked to climb trees as a kid....until I fell and broke all the Christmas presents.
I used to be confused but now I just don't know
I've always been taught to be patient, but now I'm worried that I'm just encouraging idiots to waste people's time.
I know I'm drunk when it takes me longer than three seconds to figure out what's happening when I walk through a fan blowing air at me
likes to believe the spell czech on my computer has never failed me.
hates being asked if I've had any "past experience." Is there any other kind?
Any man who laughs at women's clothes has never paid the bill for them.
I don't need a relationship. What I need...is a friendship that will make it easy to lead into one.
I'm glad I've got boobs. The last thing I want is people making eye contact with me.
True love cannot be found until you can find a mutual comfort level in the thermostat of your home.
Hey people still doing fireworks. My dog hates you. 