Marshall the Great Funny Status Messages

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   messageicon One nice thing about egotists: They don't talk about other people.
←Rate | 12-29-2010 15:28 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon A bank is a place where they lend you an umbrella in fair weather and ask for it back when it begins to rain.
←Rate | 06-10-2010 05:41 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'm not exactly sure what my doctor gave me, but I've decided I like being sick. The walls keep waving at me and saying very complimentary things. It's kinda awesome and I never want to get better.
←Rate | 05-25-2012 15:28 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon I was reading the ten commandments and got to "thou shalt not covet thy neighbor's wife" and I remembered where I left my wallet.
←Rate | 04-16-2012 12:28 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon I just discovered I have a super power! I can be invisible... Oh no no wait, I'm just being ignored.
←Rate | 04-16-2012 12:40 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon I banged my best friends mom, I guess this makes me his best motherf*cking friend!
←Rate | 10-17-2011 12:56 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon Sex is like music: for every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
←Rate | 10-05-2011 13:16 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon "H3y what r yhu dooinq?" ... About to throw a dictionary at your face.
←Rate | 04-16-2012 22:37 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon "They" say money and sex is the root of all evil. Well I think "They" are just poor virgins.
←Rate | 10-07-2010 19:55 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon Full-Moon out tonight which means all the crazy folks are coming out of the woodwork... and for some reason they've chosen me as their leader...
←Rate | 08-01-2012 21:16 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon The 5-second rule should also apply to anything a guy says to his wife or girlfriend. If she looks like she is getting angry, we have 5-seconds to take it back.
←Rate | 06-15-2013 18:17 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon Empty your medicine cabinet and put another mirror in there. Scares the hell out of snooping house guests.
←Rate | 09-02-2012 20:57 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon Waking up this morning was a stupid idea.
←Rate | 09-04-2012 12:48 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon There's nothing wrong with my attitude. It's in full working order.
←Rate | 09-19-2012 21:40 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon Always have faith and believe in yourself........well... because... the rest of us think you're an idiot!!!
←Rate | 05-14-2012 05:40 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon Beware of the half truth. You may have gotten hold of the wrong half.
←Rate | 06-03-2012 20:32 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon There's no sense in crying over spilled milk....... Oh, it was beer? Carry on then. :(
←Rate | 12-12-2011 19:30 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon I am sick but I must say that I am extremely sexy with my hair all mushed up and my body glistening with Vicks rub...
←Rate | 04-26-2012 00:19 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon Not everyone can go down in history, but if you play your cards right...You can go down on me.
←Rate | 05-06-2012 16:20 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon No one cares about your problems. Take your clothes off.
←Rate | 05-16-2012 15:52 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  



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