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100% sure whoever named the sea lion never saw a land lion
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02-17-2021 07:39
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Just put the vaccine inside donuts, ok.
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03-15-2021 09:59
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I organized a threesome last night....there were a couple of no shows, but I still had a good time.
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03-15-2021 10:05
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i’m at the age where I have to stop myself from throat punching people who say they’re sooo old when they turn 30
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03-16-2021 08:23
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Can’t figure out if the neighbour’s baby is fussy or they bought a goat.
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03-22-2021 09:29
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my new years resolution is to try to actually finish someth
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01-06-2018 01:11
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There is a company called Kia and a company called Nokia. I’m not sure who to believe
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01-06-2018 05:07
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It's just a mater of time before bathrooms will eventually be called Selfie Rooms
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01-08-2018 06:25
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Yes, your smart devices can talk to each other now and they are giggling about you behind your back.
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01-20-2018 20:25 by
markf
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If you buy weight loss products at GNC the only thing you'll lose is your money...
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01-25-2018 12:36
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I always ask if I can pay in bitcoins now, not because I have any but because I want to be cool
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02-07-2018 11:54
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If you receive a text/forward that says, ”Send it to all your friends,” then please don't consider me as your friend while forwarding it, thanks
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04-03-2018 05:56
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If you ever want to know what you look like to the world, don’t look in a mirror, have a child draw you
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04-04-2018 07:08
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"It wasn’t me" - First rule of fart club
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04-08-2018 13:46
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Florida traffic is a confusing mix of NASCAR rejects and people old enough to have owned a Model T.
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04-08-2018 14:18
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If I could go back in time I would put cheese on a lot more things.
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04-09-2018 02:12
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Allow me to explain myself via a new communication method I like to call "Interpretive Napping"
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04-12-2018 07:06
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Maybe I should have just gotten in the van.
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04-12-2018 08:25
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PUBLIC CHRISTMAS SAFETY ANNOUNCEMENT: .... Always remember, If you got a big-screen TV for Christmas, be sure to put the empty box out with your neighbor's trash. That way, their house will get robbed instead of yours.
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12-09-2016 11:58
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Some say laughter is the best medicine. I prefer sedatives.
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02-02-2017 07:07
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