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Marshall The Great Funny Status Messages
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Page: 113 of 134
F.Y.I. a slice of bread does not substitute as toilet paper.
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06-28-2012 21:45 by
Marshall the Great
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My girlfriend and I weighed ourselves, then we had sex, and then we weighed ourselves again. Just as I thought... I'm doing all the f*cking work.
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11-09-2011 14:57 by
Marshall the Great
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...is now awesome. earlier I was just pretty damn amazing :)
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09-30-2010 23:25 by
Marshall the Great
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Immediately like this status if you automatically restart a game when you know your gonna lose!
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04-14-2010 21:09 by
Marshall the Great
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Pop a molly? Why don't some of you hoes start poppin birth control.
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06-09-2013 00:05 by
Marshall the Great
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I can't believe how strong the winds were last night. I went out to get my GF some milk and got blown into the f*cking bar.
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09-26-2012 20:15 by
Marshall the Great
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You really don't have to say much for me to say, "I'll drink to that!"
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08-17-2011 11:31 by
Marshall the Great
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Eventually you'll be separated from everyone you love by distance, argument, divorce or death. Make sure you know how to stand on your own.
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07-04-2011 10:34 by
Marshall the Great
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"It sure is nice to not be out shopping." - sane people
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11-26-2010 13:46 by
Marshall the Great
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Coffee can make you jumpy and irritable. There are also negative effects.
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06-07-2010 21:10 by
Marshall the Great
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I wish people would just listen to my advice. I have invested many years f*cking shlt up so you don't have to.
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06-27-2013 15:32 by
Marshall the Great
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Thousands of stoners give up smoking weed to avoid having any association with Justin Bieber. Cleverest. Government. Propaganda. Ever.
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01-08-2013 18:20 by
Marshall the Great
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If you are ALWAYS posting status updates about your “HATERS,” chances are I'm one of them.
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06-17-2012 22:51 by
Marshall the Great
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I went shopping at Sam's Club and now I have enough toilet paper to last until 2027.
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05-04-2012 15:54 by
Marshall the Great
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I don't want you charity unless your charity is bacon and then I will take it.
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03-20-2012 11:37 by
Marshall the Great
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If all the world's a stage, then where's the hook to yank off the idiots?
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05-25-2011 08:34 by
Marshall the Great
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If you've got nothing nice to say let's sit far away from each other and yell obscenities across the room just to p!ss people off.
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06-01-2011 11:06 by
Marshall the Great
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An awkward morning beats a boring night.
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11-21-2010 08:54 by
Marshall the Great
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We have so much in common. You want to travel . . . I want you to go . . .
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07-20-2010 09:05 by
Marshall the Great
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I didn't go see the Social Network because I was worried I'd run into people from high school that I don't remember or didn't like.
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10-11-2010 14:36 by
Marshall the Great
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