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SEAN Funny Status Messages
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Page: 11 of 14
If you're routinely referring to yourself as a grown man, chances are you're not.
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12-09-2013 09:55 by
SEAN
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I'm surprised the back of soy milk cartons don't have missing hipster children.
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12-09-2013 09:54 by
SEAN
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If you're having a weird pain today remember, tons of people die from that stuff all the time.
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12-09-2013 09:53 by
SEAN
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You name it, my mother knows somebody who died of it.
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12-09-2013 09:50 by
SEAN
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Men statistically have larger brains than women, which is why men are usually smarter and elephants rule us all from their laser-hovercraft.
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12-09-2013 09:50 by
SEAN
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Just used my Dollar General receipt to build a really cool fort for the kids.
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11-21-2013 15:54 by
SEAN
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The worst part about someone asking how you've been is when you realize, "Oh, great. Now I have to ask about you."
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11-21-2013 15:54 by
SEAN
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Nothing tests human willpower more than your phone vibrating in your pocket while someone is telling a story.
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11-21-2013 15:53 by
SEAN
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Okay, 45-year-old divorced women on Facebook who are "LUV'N' LIFE!" Calm down. We get it.
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11-21-2013 15:52 by
SEAN
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Nothing says I have faith in God like the bullet proof glass on the Pope's car.
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11-21-2013 15:48 by
SEAN
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Fun Fact: Even though they call it a "man hole", you can shove women and children down it just fine.
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11-21-2013 15:48 by
SEAN
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0
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Cutest thing I saw today was the dad angrily slamming the sliding door of his minivan but it slowed down by itself and latched silently.
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11-21-2013 15:41 by
SEAN
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I didn't sign up for the 401k at my new job, because there's no way I can run that far.
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11-21-2013 10:05 by
SEAN
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2
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Did Da Bears really just march into Green Bay and beat the Pack, just wanted to Daaable Check
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11-05-2013 00:12 by
SEAN
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PRO Halloween money saving tip, put an empty bucket on your front porch with a sign that reads "Take One"
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10-30-2013 10:45 by
SEAN
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"When there are 700+ customers in the store, all but one cashier must go home."
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10-30-2013 10:43 by
SEAN
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When I see a Scion in my rearview mirror I always pull over and let it pass so no one's late to the Hoobastank concert.
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10-30-2013 10:42 by
SEAN
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Be careful! Fox News reported that 30,000 people have died trying to sign up for Obamacare!
26
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10-30-2013 10:41 by
SEAN
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I grew up poor in the 80's. My whole family had to share one headband.
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10-30-2013 10:38 by
SEAN
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Ghosts don't seem as scary when you remember that a lot of 'em have names like Jeff or Becky.
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10-30-2013 10:38 by
SEAN
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