Danmanz Funny Status Messages

   When the World calmly tells you, "Give Up" on your struggles to success, You whisper back and say, "Hell...No"

   There are no winners when you're arguing to someone about Politics.

   *Moments Before Ending A Phone Call: "All right, cool, yeah, ok, haha yeah, I know right!, tomorrow, yep. later man. all right..bye" (click)

   maybe Tiger Woods' relationship status should say "it's really complicated"

   NAMES: I bet you 10 times out of 10, guys with names like Ricky, Vinnie. Tony, Eddie will beat the sh*t out of guys with names like Kyle, Blaine, Brent, Cecil

   and (number) other friends doesn't need to change their profile pictures.

   This status update is brought to you by your drug addiction to facebook.

   You know how America votes off contestants on Dancing With The Stars....That would be such a great idea on Keeping Up with the Kardashians.

   In America, dating for men is a chore, for women it's a choice.

   Kinda funny how a mother goes nuts when her China plates break, but a Chinese person would just make a new one.

   Do girls imagine themselves sucking in a invisible spaghetti when they're about to take a picture?

   Unless you're a steaming hot girl, most people don't really care how your day went. If it doesn't relate to them, then they don't wanna read about it. A friendly Facebook reminder of the STFU Association.

   funny how guys show off there muscles just to get a woman's attention on here, but never show off brains........let alone their hearts.

   Hey John its your grandmother. Could you tell me how to work this cell phone you got me for Christmas? ~ Sent via payphone.

   You ever notice how awful your face looks in public restrooms full of fluorescent lights? Every cut, scrap, scratch, scar, scab, zit, bump, blemish, and pimple you had all seem to come out at the same time.

   My house would be a lot more vacant if I could communicate in Roach & Spider language.

   You ever seen somebody so damn ugly the government should transfer their birthday to Halloween??....Yeah, me too.

   Its funny how the Simpsons have been around for 21 years and they haven't aged a bit.

   Congratulations Kanye for setting your daughter up to be teased with corny pickup lines all throughtout her school years. "Hey North West, wanna switch directions and go down on the "dirty south" with me?"

   Just remember...when you're sitting down praying to be someone else, someone else is praying to be you.