Marshall the Great Funny Status Messages

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   messageicon I don't know how many girls it takes to change a light-bulb but I guarantee you they'd post pictures of them doing it on Facebook.
←Rate | 12-01-2012 17:11 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon Sometimes it takes a friend to tell you to get your head out of your ass, here's to you my friend!
←Rate | 07-06-2011 18:34 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon if drinking and driving is illegal, then why the hell do bars have a parking lot?
←Rate | 02-28-2010 06:37 by Marshall the Great Comments (3)  


   messageicon Fellas, you can usually judge a woman's hotness by how many times your girlfriend calls her a slut.
←Rate | 05-26-2012 17:43 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon Wedding's in 3 weeks, I wish I could invite all of you but the Waffle House only fits 43.
←Rate | 11-19-2010 13:35 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon We learn something every day, and lots of times it's that what we learned the day before was wrong.
←Rate | 12-11-2010 17:54 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon I almost forgot to update my status that I'd been to the gym. What a waste of a workout that would have been!
←Rate | 08-01-2012 13:51 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon Sex, Drugs, Rock 'n' Roll. Speed, Weed, birth control. Peace, Pot, Tequila shot. Jesus loves us stoned or not.
←Rate | 06-24-2011 13:03 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon And I was like "No, Coke is NOT ok. I wanted a Pepsi." And she was all "Sir, 911 should only be dialed for real emergencies."
←Rate | 06-25-2011 11:53 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon If I were a girl who knew a lot about cars, I'd open up a body shop called Lady Parts.
←Rate | 08-13-2011 05:33 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon You ever had such unbelievable sex, that it made you forget your own name... at least the fake one you gave her at the bar?
←Rate | 07-11-2011 14:15 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon Fact: If you break a $100 bill to buy something you will spend the rest before the day is up.
←Rate | 08-04-2011 05:54 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon I don't just cross the line, I f*cking set up camp there and get comfortable.
←Rate | 06-27-2013 14:36 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon I don't just cross the line, I f*cking set up camp there and get comfortable.
←Rate | 06-27-2013 14:36 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon doesn't have a girlfriend, but he does know a woman who'd be mad at him for saying that.
←Rate | 03-10-2010 18:44 by Marshall the Great Comments (1)  


   messageicon To all the women I've loved before, I have found someone better.
←Rate | 09-14-2011 14:34 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon Telling a cop you are so high you thought you were in London wont get you out of a ticket for driving on the wrong side of the road.
←Rate | 04-12-2012 16:46 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon When someone says they know a person just like me and I have to meet them, I know that when I meet them I'll be insulted.
←Rate | 12-16-2010 13:20 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon Almost everything I've done today has been done like a Rhinestone Cowboy.
←Rate | 12-04-2010 08:04 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon REALLY annoyed. I got asked to leave the supermarket for doing what one of their supid signs said: "Wet Floor." Bunch of retards.
←Rate | 03-27-2010 14:21 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  



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