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Marshall the Great Funny Status Messages
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Page: 109 of 134
I don't know how many girls it takes to change a light-bulb but I guarantee you they'd post pictures of them doing it on Facebook.
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12-01-2012 17:11 by
Marshall the Great
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0
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Sometimes it takes a friend to tell you to get your head out of your ass, here's to you my friend!
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07-06-2011 18:34 by
Marshall the Great
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if drinking and driving is illegal, then why the hell do bars have a parking lot?
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02-28-2010 06:37 by
Marshall the Great
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3
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Fellas, you can usually judge a woman's hotness by how many times your girlfriend calls her a slut.
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05-26-2012 17:43 by
Marshall the Great
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Wedding's in 3 weeks, I wish I could invite all of you but the Waffle House only fits 43.
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11-19-2010 13:35 by
Marshall the Great
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We learn something every day, and lots of times it's that what we learned the day before was wrong.
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12-11-2010 17:54 by
Marshall the Great
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I almost forgot to update my status that I'd been to the gym. What a waste of a workout that would have been!
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08-01-2012 13:51 by
Marshall the Great
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0
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Sex, Drugs, Rock 'n' Roll. Speed, Weed, birth control. Peace, Pot, Tequila shot. Jesus loves us stoned or not.
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06-24-2011 13:03 by
Marshall the Great
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And I was like "No, Coke is NOT ok. I wanted a Pepsi." And she was all "Sir, 911 should only be dialed for real emergencies."
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06-25-2011 11:53 by
Marshall the Great
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0
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If I were a girl who knew a lot about cars, I'd open up a body shop called Lady Parts.
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08-13-2011 05:33 by
Marshall the Great
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0
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You ever had such unbelievable sex, that it made you forget your own name... at least the fake one you gave her at the bar?
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07-11-2011 14:15 by
Marshall the Great
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0
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Fact: If you break a $100 bill to buy something you will spend the rest before the day is up.
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08-04-2011 05:54 by
Marshall the Great
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0
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I don't just cross the line, I f*cking set up camp there and get comfortable.
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06-27-2013 14:36 by
Marshall the Great
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0
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I don't just cross the line, I f*cking set up camp there and get comfortable.
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06-27-2013 14:36 by
Marshall the Great
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0
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doesn't have a girlfriend, but he does know a woman who'd be mad at him for saying that.
34
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03-10-2010 18:44 by
Marshall the Great
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1
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To all the women I've loved before, I have found someone better.
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09-14-2011 14:34 by
Marshall the Great
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0
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Telling a cop you are so high you thought you were in London wont get you out of a ticket for driving on the wrong side of the road.
17
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04-12-2012 16:46 by
Marshall the Great
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0
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When someone says they know a person just like me and I have to meet them, I know that when I meet them I'll be insulted.
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12-16-2010 13:20 by
Marshall the Great
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0
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Almost everything I've done today has been done like a Rhinestone Cowboy.
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12-04-2010 08:04 by
Marshall the Great
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0
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REALLY annoyed. I got asked to leave the supermarket for doing what one of their supid signs said: "Wet Floor." Bunch of retards.
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03-27-2010 14:21 by
Marshall the Great
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0
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