Found out that my girl puts peas in her Mac n Cheese… Our whole relationship is a lie… Why couldn’t she just sleep with someone else like a normal person?
I really just spent $40 on a costume for my dog so I can win a work pet costume contest for a $10 coffee gift card. Do I regret it? Nope. Karen from accounting and her cat are going down
Me: I don’t know…this one has a great turning radius but the other one just looks better. Husband: For God’s sake, just grab the next available shopping cart!
People in ancient times believed that they were responsible for the changing climate. (human sacrifice to the gods) I’m so glad that we have advanced enough that we don’t believe in that nonsense anymore.