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Marshall the Great Funny Status Messages
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Another beautiful morning I wish I was sleeping through.
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10-16-2010 12:25 by
Marshall the Great
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If you get any dumber, you might wanna put your helmet on.
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08-23-2011 15:33 by
Marshall the Great
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If State Farm were such a good neighbor they'd come over and pick up all the dog crap in my yard.
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04-27-2011 14:27 by
Marshall the Great
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To drink or not to drink would be a stupid f*cking question! Cheers motherf*ckers!
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11-14-2011 18:47 by
Marshall the Great
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My girl says I'm too nosey... at least, that's what she wrote in her diary.
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06-15-2011 17:01 by
Marshall the Great
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I want to be there when Google takes the street view picture of my address. The possibilities are endless.
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03-31-2011 12:51 by
Marshall the Great
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How busy can you actually be if you just took the time to change your online status to say so?
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02-23-2011 18:33 by
Marshall the Great
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My boss accuse me of being immature, but I had my hands over my ears and told him I wasn't listening.
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02-09-2013 12:52 by
Marshall the Great
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I speak 4 languages: English, Profanity, Sarcasm, & Real Sh!t..
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05-07-2012 20:48 by
Marshall the Great
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If you're reading this and you're under 12 years old... Don't grow up, it's a f*cking trap.
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05-30-2012 14:02 by
Marshall the Great
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When I say, "Hold that thought," it's just a polite way of saying I'm not interested.
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10-14-2010 11:43 by
Marshall the Great
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I threatened a man with a knife today. It was a bit silly really, he could have stabbed me.
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10-24-2010 13:49 by
Marshall the Great
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It isn't until all's been said and done that you actually realize all you should have said and done.
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11-03-2010 23:31 by
Marshall the Great
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Have you ever lost your sunglasses on top of your head?...me neither...
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11-08-2010 11:37 by
Marshall the Great
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When people say "don't hate me 'cause I'm beautiful" you shouldn't answer with "Don't worry, I have plenty of other reasons to hate you."
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11-19-2010 13:33 by
Marshall the Great
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...When she walked away her ass looked like 2 midgets fighting under a blanket.
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11-29-2010 09:54 by
Marshall the Great
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When people ask me dumb questions, my doctorate degree in sarcasm requires that I give them a sarcastic answer. What!? I took an oath!
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09-09-2012 17:46 by
Marshall the Great
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The judge says I'm a repeat offender, but he always says that.
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08-29-2011 18:08 by
Marshall the Great
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I like to write a bunch of nonsense on Facebook walls when I'm drunk and announce the next day that my account was hacked.
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06-15-2011 13:16 by
Marshall the Great
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The key to successful relationships is not to start any.
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05-16-2012 14:55 by
Marshall the Great
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