Marshall the Great Funny Status Messages

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   messageicon I learn something new everyday. Yesterday I was wise. Today I'm wiser.
←Rate | 01-28-2011 14:55 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon I will always cherish the nice things I assume you are saying about me.
←Rate | 06-06-2010 21:32 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon I am known for my motivational skills. Everyone says they have to work twice as hard when I'm around.
←Rate | 05-26-2010 19:07 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon MiO is the best invention ever. I keep a red colored one on my desk now and no one bats an eye when I drink this vodka and cranberry at work anymore.
←Rate | 10-11-2012 09:16 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon Thanksgiving. It's like we didn't even try to come up with a tradition. The tradition is, we overeat. 'Hey, how about at Thanksgiving we just eat a lot?' 'But we do that every day!' 'Oh. What if we eat a lot with people that annoy the hell out of us?'
←Rate | 11-22-2012 12:55 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon Your face is just fine, but you'll have to put a bag over that personality.
←Rate | 01-29-2012 22:24 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon People tweeting............ "Damn it's September already?" What TF you thought came after August?! August Jr?
←Rate | 09-02-2012 21:14 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon became a fan of not becoming a fan of everything on facebook.
←Rate | 03-02-2010 03:30 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon The blue whale ejaculates over 40 gallons of sperm when mating. Only 10 percent enters the female. And you always wondered why the sea tasted salty? :D
←Rate | 07-18-2011 13:47 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon This guy told me that he can see the future but he didn't even try to duck when I punched him in the face.
←Rate | 04-25-2012 23:43 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon I just seen someone update their status on Facebook to "I Wish Every Guy Was Like Jack From The Titanic." What... Dead at the bottom of the ocean?
←Rate | 05-26-2013 12:35 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon Get your mind out of the gutter - it's blocking my view.
←Rate | 08-20-2012 00:04 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon Just read that Facebook has reached 500 million users. Congrats to everyone who helped create history's largest stalker.
←Rate | 07-20-2010 08:53 by Marshall the Great Comments (1)  


   messageicon I just sneezed so hard I think I opened a time portal.
←Rate | 04-07-2011 15:51 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon The only Christmas movie I can even remotely relate to is "Bad Santa." And you damn right I want some sandwiches.
←Rate | 12-12-2011 18:50 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon I think Hotel California was written about Facebook.
←Rate | 03-27-2012 13:51 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon Ben Franklin started the first Colonial printing press using hemp paper, I'm not saying he smoked it, a lot of sober guys fly kites in a thunderstorm.
←Rate | 04-22-2012 22:28 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon I wonder when they will put the middle class on the endangered species list.
←Rate | 05-16-2012 15:03 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon The super power I want is to make anyone sh!t themselves anytime... no matter who or where you are...
←Rate | 11-17-2011 22:15 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon Females will stop speakin to their friends over the littlest things, but will forgive the same trifling ass dude a millions times.
←Rate | 09-03-2012 00:39 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  



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