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SEAN Funny Status Messages
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Page: 10 of 14
If a road runs parallel to a river, there's probably a bridge nearby. No reason to cross five lanes of traffic, Frogger, you idiot.
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01-17-2014 11:45 by
SEAN
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The police are searching Justin Bieber's house for eggs. "Take your time." said every rapist and murderer.
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01-17-2014 11:44 by
SEAN
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Forget having a gun or a knife. If you want to rob me, just threaten to throw glitter on my clothes.
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01-17-2014 11:43 by
SEAN
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ving a PT Cruiser says, "I made a 25 thousand dollar mistake in 2002."
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01-17-2014 11:43 by
SEAN
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More snitches will be able to afford stitches under ObamaCare.
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01-17-2014 11:41 by
SEAN
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I am now convinced that the homeless people have all of the shopping carts that do not have the wobbly wheels.
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01-17-2014 11:41 by
SEAN
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Stay away from gangs, kids. You don't wanna end up playing a cop on TV.
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01-17-2014 11:41 by
SEAN
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Stop telling people you got that scar in a bar fight when you know darn well it's from being circumcised.
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01-17-2014 11:40 by
SEAN
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What idiot named it a herd of elephants and not a stamp collection?
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01-17-2014 11:40 by
SEAN
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Just a couple more weeks until America learns which Olympians have the most terrifying moms.
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01-17-2014 11:40 by
SEAN
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I was bitten by a radioactive vegan, and now I have the power to bore people to death.
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01-17-2014 11:38 by
SEAN
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My psychiatrist prescribed me an odd number of pills for my OCD and I'M THE ONE WHO'S CRAZY?!
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01-17-2014 11:37 by
SEAN
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Tonight on ABC World Wide: Police raid Biebers house, find whole slew of drugs, but no talent...
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01-14-2014 17:43 by
SEAN
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If a man says you're ugly he's being mean. If a woman says you're ugly she's envious. If a little kid says you're ugly, you're ugly.
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01-06-2014 16:57 by
SEAN
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You know the passion is gone when you watch a whole movie together.
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01-06-2014 16:56 by
SEAN
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I keep writing "2015" on all my checks because I hope to have money by then.
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01-06-2014 16:55 by
SEAN
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Stop leaving me messages. If I ever wanted to talk to you again, I wouldn't have borrowed all that money.
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01-06-2014 16:54 by
SEAN
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"Oh you just laid down to relax? Well, I need you to get up and do stuff" - marriage
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01-06-2014 16:50 by
SEAN
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Don't worry, everyone is self-conscious about something. For example, you're probably concerned about that awful haircut or your ugly nose.
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01-06-2014 16:42 by
SEAN
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Yay. ..Mr.Plow is here! Won't have to eat another kid.
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01-06-2014 16:29 by
SEAN
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